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Week 84: Chancellor Cole vs. Twinrova (Oracle of Ages and Seasons)

Chancellor Cole

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLADIES AND GENTLEMENNNNNNN! Zeldapedia proudly brings to you the eighty-fourth week in the TEMPLE. OF. COOOOOOOOURAAAAAGE! This week we have a battle between two (that is to say, three) villains who serve as primary antagonists until the very last innings of their respective games. Additionally, they both seek to resurrect their own Dark Lord. Fasten thy glazzies on the center ring!

In the green corner is a diminutive schemer appearing in the Temple of Courage for the second time! Known across the world as the best leprechaun villain in all The Legend of Zelda and hell-bent on resurrecting the evil Demon King Malladus...THIS. IS. CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCELLOR COOOOOOOOOOOLE!

In the turquoise corner are two fearsome witches whose infernal machinations are the impetus for both games in the Oracle duology. Dangerous as a team, even more dangerous as a combined entity and masters of fire and ice magic...THEY. ARE. TWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINROVAAAAAAAAAA!

Now before they're overshadowed by their resurrected masters and likely forgotten by players, LLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRREADY TO RUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMBBBBBBBBLE!!! No.

Votes for Chancellor Cole

  1. I like the way Cole acts, like the first time you meet him as a demon. His two hats are also nice. They match... - McGillivray227 (talk)
  2. It's more satisfying to finally kill him and Malladus, especially since he interrupts during the ceremony. Oh yeah, and revenge for killing Byrne. --DekuStick Master
  3. I didn't really like Twinrova's Oracle incarnation, and I think they did a much better job of making Cole into a villain; he's barely on-screen 5 minutes before you want to stomp his face in. Plus his facial expressions make me laugh... Diachronos (talk) 23:16, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
  4. I haven't played either of these games, but Cole is from a toon game, so he gets my vote. TheUltimateHokage88 (talk) 01:05, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
  5. This is one of the better Zelda villains we've seen in a while. Fighting on top of a train? Epic! Portal-Kombat
  6. a.i havent played seasons or finshed ages(stuck on wats her face) and b. green is my favorite colorDevdude (talk) 05:58, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
  7. He deserves this after being dominated by Zant. --EveryDayJoe45 (talk) 16:50, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
  8. Chancellor Cole is funny, and his opponent is just plain ugly. Ray Talk 2 me 17:38, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
  9. Close call, but Cole gets my vote purely for being a leprachaun-type thing. --Yowuza yadderhouse | meh 18:01, February 3, 2010 (UTC)
  10. Dude... TWO TOP HATS?! That's Chuck Norris levels of awesome! User:Hidden Link
  11. Better than twinrova. User:Zel999daFaN
  12. I like this demented freak. User:Master747

Anonymous votes

  1. You canNOT mess with a leprechaun devil thing
  2. "Why don't you go... polish your train or something." My favorite Chancellor Cole quote EVER!
  3. Cole can go reverse-crosseyed, so he gets my vote.
  4. he reminds me of the happy mask sales man who is truly awesome and so he gets my vote

Votes for Twinrova

  1. I liked the way the plot of the Oracle games were wound together like some kind fine tapestry. I totally did not see the post-final battle scene detailing their plans coming and it got me geared to buy Seasons, as if the awesome Ages wasn't good enough to do that on its own. Hey, considering the Oracle games' less-than-super-cereal nature, I can even forgive that their backstory and whether or not they are connected to the Ocarina of Time characters is ever expanded upon. It might just be cheap fan service too. Anyway, I like it. Cole is cool but he was a pushover. Both the K&K and Twinrova battles were a challenge to me. --AuronKaizer! 22:53, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Twinrova in the Oracle series is the best ever. I love Cole's character to death but Twinrova would make Cole their slave. At least the Oracle version Twinrova died with dignity caring more about getting the flames lit unlike Cole who is more concerned with himself. --Birdman5589 (talk) 23:00, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
  3. because the Orcarina of Time Thyme rulz-- C2 / CC 23:02, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
  4. Cole has style to be sure but mathematically, Twinrova needed two games to stop all of her (or their) evil plots. Cole isn't really powerful as he is annoying in the fight. Then we have his weak death scene just to have him die. Both death scenes of Twinrova are epic.--ComeBackKing (talk) 23:46, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
  5. I like Ganon better than Malladus. Ceiling Master (talk) 00:01, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
  6. Dude, this fight isn't even fair. -Twili Tetra
  7. Cole is kind of...interesting (and I use that word loosely), but Twinrova's manipulation in the Oracles made her/them (a) much deeper and more fleshed-out villain(s). Cole was made an interesting villain, but at his core he's just a crazy power hungry fool that thought that the supreme demon lord would share his power with him just because he freed him or something. Twinrova just wanted Ganondorf back because she/they wanted him to rule all, and because he's her/their surrogate son or something. Point is, she/they never seemed to express the shallow villain component of thinking that this evil overlord would share his power with her/them out of gratitude that said overlord is incapable of feeling. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 00:29, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
  8. Cole didn't really do much in planning, and never thought that Malladus would turn on him, and he was easily defeated, but Twinrova actually planned out the whole Oracle games, and actually caused much destruction to the people, and brought back Ganon from the dead, while Cole just destroyed the tower, and did almost nothing at the top. Cole never gave up his life to reviving someone. That is dedication. Sandflyer83
  9. I Just Like them better--Power courage wisdom and time (talk) 03:17, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
  10. As much as I Like Cole's music, Quidditch players are epicness.--Redeadhunter 15:11, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
  11. First of all, I just love the Oracle games. Also, Cole's an idiot. He can separate someone's soul from their body, but in his fight against you, he attacks you with blue pikachus instead. Ummm...--Sir Real 13:47 2/1/10
  12. Chancelor Cole's magic is just annoying. Twinrova's is challenging! Plus I like the fact of those two ploting Ganon's revival throuhout the Oracle games. Twinrova definantly cannot be beat! --User:BlazeSandraal 15:32 Febuary 1, 2010
  13. They came out of no where the first time I played the oracle games and continued to impress during linked games in some nice scene play outs. COle is epic with his crazy, weird, Irishness and horns but these just seem to be more memoriable Oni Dark Link 21:27, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
  14. The Oracle games are very underrated. And I love Twinrova's elaborate plot to revive Ganon. Oddball 464 02:13, February 2, 2010 (UTC)
  15. Yay i finally found out how to put a signature on so this is my first real vote that isnt anonymous! ^ _ ^ Spirit tracks was a real disappointment in my opinion. Now that i think about it, why didn't cole just kidnap Zelda quietly, ten no one would need to know, not even link. Besides, koume and kotake have FRIGGEN BROOMS!---Tehmeganerd (talk) 22:28, February 2, 2010 (UTC)
  16. Gerudo are awesome. Even old wrinkly ones. Cole may have two hats, but does he have the King of Evil as his adoptive son, hmm? Does he? I think not. Plus, they tried the whole sacrifice Zelda thing before him. Then they sacrificed themselves. Now THATS dedication! --Staars!
  17. I didn't really like Cole all that much, he was fun in the last battle but his facial expressions were annoying. Also another way they're similar, both were sacrificed for their masters, although Cole didn't want to-Hydropanda (talk)

Anonymous votes

  1. their waaayy harder then cole and i like hard bosses thats what makes them bosses im talking about Oot version never played the oracle games
  2. Never played the Oracle games, but they're still one (or two) of my favorite Ocarina bosses
  3. God this was hard A) Twinrova from my first game I owned or B) Cole one cool dude I got to say Twinrova
  4. Cole just creeps me out with his weird teeth and horns that don't have the same size. Even though the witches are really wrinkled and ungly, they deserve to win.
  5. cole is a crazy leprechaun

Peanut Gallery

Okay, not to be mean or anything, but I might spontaneously laugh out loud if anyone votes for Twinrova "because The Orcarina of Thyme rulz" this week. --AuronKaizer! 22:58, January 31, 2010 (UTC)

And yet, it clearly says, "Twinrova (Oracle of Ages/Oracle of Seasons)". I would laugh too. --DekuStick Master
I sure hope nobody uses the Ocarina version. I made sure to say Oracle version in my voting to hopefully give people a hint. --Birdman5589 (talk) 23:02, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
This week its Cole "because its spirit tracks FTW!!!!!" - McGillivray227 (talk)
lol C2 just did it. "Because The Orcanina of thyme rulz" LOL --DekuStick
That's "Orcarina", CC. Orcanina ain't half bad either. --AuronKaizer! 23:06, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
Curse you CC. May Din, Nayru, and Farore have mercy on your soul. --Birdman5589 (talk) 23:10, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
I gotta say, that's the best chance I've had in a long while on here to be a complete scounrel. I took it, whoopie for me!!!1!one!!!!1!!11!1-- C2 / CC 23:14, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
You failed at it though. Also, are we playing Skew The Peanut Gallery With Too Many Replies again? --AuronKaizer! 23:19, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
I suceeded though, stop lying with your slandering prapaganda! Don't look at me, you started this.-- C2 / CC 23:21, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
I didn't. DekuStickMaster could have just left well enough alone and leave me to my pointless spam but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, had to go and put that colon there. Oh yeah, also — I win. --AuronKaizer! 23:25, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
Sure, blame me. --DekuStick Master
That would have been more useful before I went ahead and did it. --AuronKaizer! 23:27, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
Stop editing!!!! Errgg.... edit blocked by AK and DSM...... wow u r al epik fials.-- C2 / CC 23:30, January 31, 2010 (UTC)

Is that really an official image of Twinrova? It doesn't look much like the rest of the artwork from the Oracle games.--MaloMart (talk) Malo.png 00:30, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

It wouldn't have been uploaded if I weren't 100% sure. And if it's not official, then blame the galleries, not me. It was probably taken from another source though. --AuronKaizer! 00:32, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
Is it real? It exists so appernalty it is Oni Dark Link 22:45, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
Don't steal my bits. I'll have to cut off one of your fingers. --AuronKaizer! 23:04, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

What a surprise. The IP votes for Twinrova are based off of Ocarina of Time.--MaloMart (talk) Malo.png 01:00, February 3, 2010 (UTC)

number 3 might not be based off of OoT... but more likely than not is --Birdman5589 (talk) 01:31, February 3, 2010 (UTC)
He's not talking about CC's vote; he's talking about anonymous votes 1 and 2 for Twinrova. --DekuStick Master
Neither was Birdman. Look at his comment more closely. He says number 3 may not be based off of OoT. CC's vote, while sarcastic, clearly refers to OoT. He's clearly talking about anonymous vote three, which says that the person's "first game" is the one Twinrova is from. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 01:37, February 3, 2010 (UTC)
Wow. Now i feel like an idiot. I need to read more carefully... --DekuStick Master
You can see that I really don't care who wins this fight. -- C2 / CC 01:58, February 3, 2010 (UTC)

I'm kind of surprised about how this turned out. I thought Cole would be getting mad support. --AuronKaizer! 21:09, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

I am in complete concurrence. I almost thought this fight would be one sided towards Cole if it wasn't close. --Birdman5589 (talk) 22:35, February 4, 2010 (UTC)
Agreed. --EveryDayJoe45 (talk) 06:45, February 7, 2010 (UTC)

Anon vote #5: "cole is a crazy leprachaun" And that is supposed to be a bad thing?

"Crazy leprechaun" is also an oxymoron. --AuronKaizer! 14:29, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
What I find more disturbing is how anybody could possibly be reminded of the Happy Mask Salesman by Cole. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 17:12, February 7, 2010 (UTC)

Week 83: Boy in the Graveyard vs. Ferrus

Boy in the Graveyard
"Boy in the Graveyard"
Boy in the Graveyard

24.5 > 23.5

LLLLLLLLLLLLLADIES AND GENTLEMEN! We are now proud to present to you the 83rd week in the TEMPLE OF COURAGE! All right! And this week, because you asked for it, we bring to you the battle of the two obsessive supporting characters! Let's meet them!

In the yellow corner, we have a small boy with a stick. Hailing from Kakariko Village, he imitates his hero Dampe, dreams of becoming more terrifying, and is destined to disappear in the near future; Give it up for the BOY IN THE GRAAAAAAAAAAAAVEYARD!

And in the blue corner, we have a young train connoisseur. Coming from the Wellspring Station, he is a master photographer, looks up to Alfonzo, and mooches off of Link: Give your support for FERRRRRRRRRRRRRRUS!

So, two young boys, both of whom have a strange obsession, shall face off tonight. But which one shall emerge the ultimate fanatic? That, my dear voters, is up to you! You all must be antsy to get voting, so LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE! Yeah!

Votes for Boy in the Graveyard

  1. I dunno he talks softly and carries a small to medium sized stick.-- C2 / CC 18:19, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
  2. He may be the Poe Seller so yeah. Ingo the great (talk) 19:18, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
  3. His cuteness is unmatched by his opponent! - McGillivray227 talk)
  4. I used to like this kid when I first started playing OoT. And if my theory is correct, he's the young version of the Poe Seller, and that guy is great. Oddball 464 22:45, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
  5. I'm going to be weird and vote for who would win in an actual fight. That stick looks like a much more effective weapon than that tripod, and the Boy in the Graveyard just seems more likely to be aggressive. Jedimasterlink (talk) 22:47, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
  6. I like Ferrus, but his fanboyism felt a bit overdone at times. Besides, any kid that aspires to be a gravekeeper in a haunted graveyard and worships a hunchback is freaking hardcore. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 00:30, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
  7. This brings back a ton of memories from when I was 9. --EveryDayJoe45 (talk) 03:14, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
  8. I hearby welcome this kid to the Death Police.--RH 04:23, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
  9. Creepy little kids with sticks are awesome. Ocarina of Time is fully of creepy little kids and he may be one of the creepiest in the game =DDDDD --Stars!
  10. That kid is awsome how can anyone not vote for him (aye haz teh be5t argum3nt)--Gbadude3 (talk) 15:37, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
  11. i thought that spirit tracks was way too easy (i beat it in the equivalent of three days)Devdude (talk)
  12. This guy is kinda funny in my opinion. Gotta love the scary crowd. Sincerely, Watcher.
  13. I am neautral about this, but OoT was WAY better. Link64
  14. i like the poe salesman. i like this kid. the fact that he may be the poe salesman rockets him to victory. Fooster
  15. For one:I haven't played SP. and two: Ferrus is just a little...odd.Green hat (talk) 22:00, January 27, 2010 (UTC)Mr.Green hat
  16. Ferrus was annoying, and always wanted a ride from you, out of anyone, why you? The Boy in the Graveyard at least doesn't send you out just to drop him off, and pick him up, 3 TIMES! [1] Sandflyer83 (talk) 23:01, January 27, 2010 (UTC)
  17. I like this little guy. It's awesome that Dampe is an idol to someone. Heck, he'd probably be my idol. What am I saying? He IS my idol! Docter Ted
  18. This guy plays a part in the Happy Mask side quest. The masks are some of my favorite items in the game. Boy in the Graveyard gets my vote. TheUltimateHokage88 (talk) 01:45, January 29, 2010 (UTC)
  19. I found that Spirit Tracks was just too easy a game. Ferrus was kind of creepy. He never got to see Alfonzo. For the whole game, I thought Ferrus was an adult. Ocarina of Time was just a memoriable experience. Boy in the Graveyard looked up to Dampè. Dampè lived in a graveyard, how do you not love someone who looks up to a guy who lives in the graveyard and who spends all his time in the graveyard. --ZeldaFanFreak (talk) 23:56, January 30, 2010 (UTC) ZeldaFanFreak
  20. have to go with the boy in the graveyard. --Ignitiator

Anonymous votes

  1. anyone who likes hanging out with dead people is a friend of mine.
  2. His idol is one of the coolest guys in the game. Plus, wasn't too happy with Spirit Tracks
  3. in retaliation to anon voter number 2 for ferrus, grave kid is cooler than that pain in the butt in the new game. Is it just me or does Feruus look like a boy scout?
  4. AND LETS HERE IT FOR THE BETTER GAME! Better game, and better characters.
  5. The fact that this kid plays in a graveyard screams he is a future Michael Moore.
  6. I could become rich off the poe salesman, and if that turns out to be thiskid (and rumor has it he IS the poe salesman), I've gotta go with him.
  7. I love this lil boy. I mean, he's so adorable, and he tries to be like his role model, Dampe. That's just so cute in my opinion. :)
  8. Ive met this kid in ocarina of time and ive never played spirit tracks
  9. I almost wrecked my train to stop for Ferrus and his ambitions aren't that great...

Votes for Ferrus

  1. Ferrus is the BEST!! whooo!! - Legendofuboy
  2. Ferrus is acually helpful, unlike that little it with a stick. Plus he dosent disapear. Whoever worships a hunched backed, crossed eyed drunkard, is ethier a drug addict or has no life. ~Litlit123me
  3. He found me a Regal Ring. Bit useless since they can be so easily obtained at the lost at sea station but its the thought that counts Oni Dark Link 18:54, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
  4. His opponent creeps me out, and he is nice. Ray Talk 2 me 19:27, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
  5. Because of the Regal Ring, and the fact that his quest revealed a pair of boss tanks that I had to battle, one of which boarded my train. I wouldn't have found any of that stuff otherwise. Portal-Kombat
  6. OH EM GEE! I LOVE FERRUS! --AuronKaizer! 19:50, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
  7. I guess I'll vote for Ferrus, since he did get me some treasure... --Ceiling Master (talk) 20:39, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
  8. Ferrus reminds me a lot of myself, except I'm a Zelda fanatic instead of a "trainiac". He even looks kind of like me. And I do love myself, so I've got to vote for this guy.--MaloMart (talk) Malo.png 20:44, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
  9. he's actually important in the story--DarkTriforce (talk) 21:58, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
  10. Ferrus is actually a very cool guy, since his personality is weird but but can be related to. Meanwhile, what kind of kid is obsessed with graveyards and waves sticks around? --DekuStick Master
  11. I doubt I'd have found out about the warp portals without the memos in his house. Diachronos (talk) 23:50, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
  13. He has to be the greatest minor character of all time. His tripod has a longer reach than a stick and he could blind the graveyard kid with the flash from his camera so we would easily win a real fight. --Birdman5589 (talk) 19:42, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
  14. Unlike the graveyard boy, Ferrus is actually helpful with a regal ring, tips, and force gems. --User:BlazeSandraal 16:40, January 25, 2010
  15. Ferrus is way cooler than that annoyance in the graveyard. Minish Link 20:04, January 26, 2010 (UTC)
  16. Ferrus is really cool. He isn't rally that obsessive, and gives you a lot of free (you have to drop him off at certain places) stuff! --Bkarcher97 17:16, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
  17. He doesn't want to become an old man who I first thought it was a ReDead. And he has a name.User:Snakeboss14
  18. Ferrus...heh..get it? Iron. Ferrus. Heh. Funny.ShadowDialga (talk) 18:48, January 30, 2010 (UTC)
  19. I like his funny nose! Zeerotytus (talk)

Anonymous votes

  1. He's pretty much cooler than that graveyard boy
  2. He helps you to avoid angry people getting off the train with his tips. He also gives you a Force Gem and a treasure. Finally, he is much more important character than the boy in the graveyard (you can clear the game without even talking to that boy).
  3. Ferrus is an awesome character - he certainly made me laugh!
  4. Ferrus is so cool and he actually plays a big role on the game. he's also really funny and makes the game even more enjoyable.
  5. Ferrus rocks he makes me laugh all the time he is now my new nickname! yay!!
  6. Ferrus knows how to be a stalker when that little...thing can't even leave a graveyard.
  7. Spirit tracks ferrus da win! (Sorry, i just had to.)
  8. 1. i agree with vote 2 (anonymous) 2.i love spirit tracks:)!
  9. ferrus gave me a regal ring :)

Peanut Gallery

The Link of Spirit Tracks isn't the Hero of Winds.--MaloMart (talk) Malo.png 18:43, January 24, 2010 (UTC)

How the h*** did this of all fights end up being a game vs. game fight? I mean, seriously? You're voting for BitG because he's in the "better" game? Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 01:21, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

It took me a moment to figure out that acronym.--MaloMart (talk) Malo.png 01:22, January 27, 2010 (UTC)
It took me less than one moment to figure out that aardvark. --AuronKaizer! 06:51, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

WTF? I signed my vote and now its anonymous? RECOUNT!--ComeBackKing

You actually did not sign your vote and that is why it was moved. If you want it to count you must actually sign your name by clicking the signature button at the top of the edit screen and not just simply write "ComeBackKing" at the end of your vote. --EveryDayJoe45 (talk) 17:25, January 29, 2010 (UTC)

How are these two character's alike? Mr kmil Spin Attack (A Link to the Past).gif 19:52, January 28, 2010 (UTC)

They are both fanboys. One is loves Dampe while the other loves Alfonzo. They both always carry around their trusty tools. One carries a stick while the other his camera and tripod. And there are more. You just need to look at it at a deeper level.--Birdman5589 (talk) 20:02, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
Uhhh, you could look at the fight intro for a clue, seeing as it kind of describes the fight and what it's about, the way intros are, um, supposed to be..... Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 21:11, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
I thought they were about embarrasing extrapolation and unfunny sight gags? --AuronKaizer! 22:27, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
How do you do sight gags in a written piece?--MaloMart (talk) Malo.png 23:27, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
Years of practice mah boi. --AuronKaizer! 23:38, January 28, 2010 (UTC)

In response to ZeldaFanFreak's vote about how Ferrus never meets Alfonzo, that's not true. You can get him to Alfonzo in a side quest. Obviously, you haven't tried doing all the sidequests, 'cause that's where it gets harder (I mean, Dark Ore AND a Rocktite? Seriously?). --DekuStick Master

Well you could always clear out the rockite and then get the dark ore. But still the Dark Ore is hard enough to do anyway. --Birdman5589 (talk) 01:15, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
I think it reappears whenever you take Dark Ore through there. I'm not entirely sure though. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 04:29, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
If you get to the point where you see the cut scene of it dieing then it doesn't reappear. At least it didn't for me. --Birdman5589 (talk) 04:53, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
I beat it then tried to get the Dark Ore and it reappeard then later on I went to get the Dark Ore and bet it before hand and it didnt reappear. Sounds strange and the most logical thing would be that i didnt save after beating it the first time but that doesnt sound like something I'd do Oni Dark Link 15:29, January 31, 2010 (UTC)

Week 82: Boomerang Dealer vs. Secret Moblin

Boomerang Dealer
"Secret Moblin!"
Secret Moblin
Secret Moblin

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLADIES AND GENTLEMENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! This week's fight is a SECRET TO EVERYBODY. And you know what I mean when I say EVERYBODY. It's a ferocious duel between two well-hidden characters who give Link useful items and money. Draw your eyes to the center ring!

In the orange corner is a diminutive Goriya who trades certain items with whomever finds his secret hideout at the beach. Holder of the all-powerful Boomerang and a remnant of a deleted type of enemy from Link's Awakening, it's the ever-so-imaginately named BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMERANG DEEEEEEEEEEEEALERRRRR!!!

In the black corner is a legendary and mysterious figure who, despite being of a race that commonly are enemies of Link, gives the hero money in exchange for keeping his hiding place(s) a secret. Nobody knows whether or not there is only one or if there are several different ones, but either way, it's the SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECRET MOOOOOOOOOOOOBLIN!

Feel free (or do it if you want to live) to trade the item in your B-Button at the concession stand! LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADY TO RUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBBBLE!!!

Votes for Boomerang Dealer

  1. Money is cool and good for the inflated ego and all that, but the Boomerang in LA is the most powerful weapon in any game ever. Makes up for the lame prize at the end of the trading quest too. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 01:20, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
  2. As much as I love the Secret Moblin (or any LoZ character for that matter), I love boomerangs and this is guy gives you the best one by far. --Birdman5589 (talk) 01:59, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
  3. for me it came down to a question of do i prefer money or bommerangs then i realized that u can get money with boomerangs:)Devdude (talk) 06:14, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
  4. i like LA a lot more then LOZ, And the boomerang dealer gives you the best item in the game. That definitly beats some money--Ironknuckle1 15:58, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
  5. I know we should vote based on the character but th=e boomerang in that game surpasses Light Arrows! (and since we can vote based on a fight I can say the Boomerang dealer has the boomerang which he can use to destroy the secret Moblin in one hit) Oni Dark Link 17:00, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
  6. I DEFINATLEY have to go for old Boomy. Rupees are everywhere, but a one-hit kill boomerang is priceless. User:Hidden Link
  7. I guess I'll go with this guy, since I kind of have a grudge against all Moblins right now, friendly or not, and I've always liked the Boomerang. Ceiling Master (talk) 19:03, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
  8. He gives the better prize. Evidently, that is as secret to everybody voting for the Secret Moblin, =P. Jedimasterlink (talk) 14:28, January 19, 2010 (UTC)
  9. Although the Secret Moblin is a Zelda classic, I'd rather have a boomerang than money. Oddball 464 03:10, January 21, 2010 (UTC)
  10. the boomerang is more valuable Ingo the great (talk) 00:14, January 22, 2010 (UTC)
  11. The boomerang is the best item in Link's Awakening. It can one-hit KO the final boss! Can rupees do that? TheUltimateHokage88 (talk)
  12. i personally love the boomerang and any one who gives you one is ok in my book.Fooster (talk)

Anonymous votes

  1. It's like asking this: would you rather have 100 dollars, or a nuke? I am taking a leaf out of that one guy who says 'nuff said's book, I SHALL NOW USE AN EXTREMELY ANNOYYING CATCH PHRASE! BWAHAHAHAHA! -Still insane at the moment
  2. You can kill the final boss with a boomerang in LA. I'd like to see you secret moblin fans do that with rupees.
  3. Hmmm, let's see. A slightly maniacal weapons dealer of a secretive fuzzball? Difficult question, it is. - Yoda
  4. A boomerang is better than money.

Votes for Secret Moblin

  1. Dude, come on. When I first found one of his hiding places, I thought for sure he was going to kill me and make a screaming chair out of my bones, but the guy just...gave me money instead and insulted the English language. That's even scarier, when you think about it. Also, it's Pippy, the creepiest character in The Legend of Neil. The Boomerang Dealer's Boomerang sure kicks butt, but it's an optional butt-kicking. Well, so is this but WHATEVER I wanna vote for the Secret Moblin. --AuronKaizer! 01:08, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
  2. IT'S A SECRET TO EVERYBODY. --DekuStick Master
  3. The Boomerang was a better item but this guy is cooler character overall.--MaloMart (talk) Malo.png 01:50, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
  4. Far more infamous. --EveryDayJoe45 (talk) 01:51, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
  5. It's an offer you simply can't refuse. Portal-Kombat
  6. This monster words could not be truer. ComeBackKing
  7. Uh? Moblins are just plain awesome. Ray Talk 2 me 14:29, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
  8. This guy is a legend in itself. While the boomerang guy gives you quite a treat, this memetastic moblin took a special place in many a gamer´s heart´s.--The Gerudo Guy (talk) 16:33, January 18, 2010 (UTC)The Gerudo Guy
  9. The boomerang dealer is awesome 'n all, butbutbut how can you NOT vote for the Secret Moblin?!--Stars! xxx
  10. This guy is a legend. He'll win, and that's no secret to anybody.--DarkTriforce (talk) 17:49, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
  11. Free money and secret Moblins. That's Allstates stand.--DekutullaZM 20:22, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
  12. Hey free money. But don't tell anyone. Tabs34
  13. Link almost told everyone about the Secret Moblin before he remembered his eternal vow of silence.--RH 03:41, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
  14. Because he has the word "secret" in his name. =P --Yowuza yadderhouse | meh 16:06, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
  15. That famous line of his is legendary. Why? IT'S A SECRET TO EVERYBODY. --Superpowered Mario (talk) 21:01, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
  16. Most moblins are aggressive and/or hostile towards Link, but this one gives you cash and a momentary refuge User:TazAJ 21:53, January 21, 2010
  17. it was hard choosing between a guy that gives you money and a guy that gives you a weapon, but i think this guy is better! User:Doubleg2x 16:21, January 22, 2010
  18. IT'S A SECRET WHO I WILL VOTE FOR. OR MAYBE NOT. The Midna (talk) The Midna 03:07, January 23, 2010 (UTC)
  19. Most people on the other side are voting simply based on the reward from intereacting with the character, not the character himself. The fact of the matter is, the Secret Moblin is not just a classic character, but a cult-classic character with a matching cult-classic tagline. Also, the Boomerang Dealer owes its existence to the Secret Moblin, as both are creatures that are common enemies of Hyrule, and yet here are a couple of individuals that defy that common enmity to help Link out - but the Secret Moblin is the original. The Boomerang Dealer is essentially a reference to that cult-classic original. --WarlockPuncher
  20. Heh. Powerful weapon or money. I choose money.-- C2 / CC 18:11, January 24, 2010 (UTC)

Anonymous votes

  1. It is a classic character. It also gives you money (which is very valuable considering the original's 250-or-so limit). IT'S A SECRET TO EVERYBODY.
  2. I love money. 'Nuff said. :)
  3. Money's so hard to get in this game, and Moblins are awesome.
  4. *sigh* must I vote for the winning one AND the one from the classic game at the same time? whatever. I must really like mistranslations. -the user without a username(note: I'm still anonymous)

Peanut Gallery

I just noticed that I haven't voted for the winning side for 7 weeks straight now. And it looks like this will be the 8th week. I find that both extremely amusing and slightly irritating at the same time. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 01:56, January 18, 2010 (UTC)

Meh, for people who really like the TOC, it shouldn't matter who wins as long as one votes for the one that you want. Or, y'know, whatnot. --AuronKaizer! 02:00, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
Which is why it only slightly irritates me. And it only does that because of some obsessive complusive competitive instinct I have, not because I actually care about "winning" or "losing" or anything. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 02:05, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
We had a tie with Deku Baba vs. Bow wow so at least you didnt vote for the loser seven weeks straight. Oni Dark Link 17:02, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
And you all thought that'd be one-sided.--RH 03:44, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
Couldn't you technically buy a Boomerang with the money? I don't know if y'all know this, but money can be exchanged for goods and services. --AuronKaizer! 00:24, January 22, 2010 (UTC)
Well, realistically you should, but you can't buy the one exclusive to LA with money. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 00:27, January 22, 2010 (UTC)
You could hire a hacker to hack the money into the game. --AuronKaizer! 00:29, January 22, 2010 (UTC)
AK, did you really think you could slip a Simpsons reference past me?--MaloMart (talk) Malo.png 00:38, January 22, 2010 (UTC)
Oh, you're a tricky one, Mr. Grinch. --AuronKaizer! 05:47, January 22, 2010 (UTC)
Hehe, well he slipped it past me. Of course, that may be because I am not watching, have not watced, and probably never will watch that. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 09:32, January 22, 2010 (UTC)
Maybe you're better off, considering the sorry state the show has been in for about 10 years now. --AuronKaizer! 19:34, January 22, 2010 (UTC)
A very sirry state it has become Oni Dark Link 20:41, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Whoever wrote you can kill the last boss with a boomerang in LA in the original you shot arrows with rupees and you kill ganon with the silver arrow sooooo Tabs34

Touché, I...guess? O.o --AuronKaizer! 04:32, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

I know the ToC has it's own "thing" were it's presented like a wrasl'en(they call it that because it's not real wreslting) match, but I'm beginning to grow tired of how WEEEEE EXXXXTTTTEEENNNNDDD TTTHHHEEEEEE WOOOOORDDDDDSSS OUUUUTTTT. It just bothers me a bit. Not like it matters all that much though.-- C2 / CC 18:16, January 24, 2010 (UTC)

The extended words are a play on Michael Buffer, a BOXING announcer. And according to the WTF Episode of South Park, real wrestling is called Wrasl'en.

Week 81: Mothula (The Wind Waker) vs. Stagnox

Stagnox Wins!



LLLLLLLLLLLLLLADIES AND GENTLEMENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! After a delay that by Temple of Courage standards is the equal of Chinese Democracy, we bring you the 81st week of the TEMPLE. OF. COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOURAAAAAAAAAAGE! This week we have two dangerous giant bugs primed and ready for combat, the delay only increasing their ferocious bloodlust! Draw your eyes to the center ring, if you please!

In the purple corner, we have a winged insect who guards the Forbidden Woods. Its spawn are small pests that slow one down. THIS. IS. MOOOOOOOOOTHULAAAAAAA!

In the light brown corner is a newcomer to The Legend of Zelda — being an oversized stag beetle who guards the Forest Temple. THIS. IS. STAAAAAAAAAAGNOX!

And now, before we all are consumed by flying miniatures of this week's fighters...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Votes for Mothula

  1. Mothula is technically my least favorite miniboss from TWW, but I just found Stagnox boring...not to mention she has no thorax that I can see. And yes, Stagnox is female because she releases larvae from her abdomen. Speaking of which, she should be laying eggs, but that's a flaw Mothula has too, so I'll let that one slide. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 18:38, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
  2. I don't know why, but I found that Mothula is better because bug... things it shoots out. It's like one gives you its weakness, Stagnox, while the other tries to be an annoying miniboss. Mothula just was a better miniboss, then Stagnox was as a boss! - McGillivray227 (talk)
  3. Fighting Mothula was always more fun, and much more fast-paced. I got bored of Stagnox like I got bored of the train after I fought him four times in Take 'Em All On. Portal-Kombat
  4. Stagnox was the most pathetic boss every. She would have been better as a mini-boss. Mothula on the other hand is at least puts up a fight. --Birdman5589 (talk) 23:58, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
  5. The mothulas were just my favorite Wind Waker enemies. I'd use more of my twisted humor, but I don't feel like it.--RH 02:18, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
  6. I thought Mothula was fun to fight. I don't have any Stagnox experience, but...I don't know. Nothing seems appealing about it. Besides, it's fun to set Mothulas on fire with the Fire Arrow... Jedimasterlink (talk) 03:14, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
  7. im only on this side because i loved the black spike ball things they were amusing to watch link walk around with like 20 on him then use a spin attack cuz they all flew off in different directions and explodedDevdude (talk) 05:34, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
  8. Pshhhh. Stagnox isn't so great. I like the old school minibosses.Draconicus (talk) 23:22, January 14, 2010 (UTC)
  9. This monster is what you get when you cross a moth with a jet engine. I finally have a blueprint to work from!--Lapis ofthe Night 06:32, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
  10. Mothula rules. Which reminds me, why are people getting so riled up about this? It doesn't even matter. This thing was made to have fun. If you're not having fun, then leave. BTW, did I mention, Mothula Rules? --DekutullaZM 21:53, January 17, 2010 (UTC)

Anonymous votes

  1. Mothulamothulamothulamothula
  2. Mothula is an awsome creature. this was one of the most annoying creatures in the game. the fly just out of reach and consistently charge down to ram its foes. it also hampers its foes with little spiked balls the weigh you down. the only pathetic detail is when you chop off its wings, its a reletively easy creature (which after a lot of frustration, you may consider it a reward to mercelesly kill that monster that was bugging you before).
  3. Honestly, Stagnox wasn't really that difficult a boss. Mothula isn't a boss, but Stagnox, in my opinion, waas a bit too easy to kill.
  4. Mothula is just better
  5. Killing Stagnox for the 8th time in Take 'Em All On made me more than bored by him. At least Mothulas can be annoying.
  6. Mothula rocks. 'Nuff said.
  7. Stag beatles are lame/ while moths look scary
  8. Mothula has a cooler roar, its smaller and faster than stagnox, you have to actually WORK to kill mothula, it can impare your movements with those spiney things at the same time being faster than stagnox so double win :), and finally mothula just looks cooler than stagnox... boomerang!

Votes for Stagnox

  1. Stagnox's boss battle is the epitome of all that is awesome in the DS Zeldas. instawin. ShadowDialga (talk) 23:53, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Mothula is cool. Okay, he IS cool. But Stagnox- STAGNOX. I mean, you can just hear the "I'm awesome and I'm out to get you" in his name. If it ends in an X, it's awesome. Stagnox is so tough it takes SPIKED BOMB BUG THINGS to kill him. Yeah. -Minish Link
  3. Mothula is, like, a lame pun on Dracula or something. Stagnox is so awesome he has become a saying on the shoutbox. Enough said. Let's just end the ToC right now. Good? Good. --AuronKaizer! 14:15, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
  4. The fact that Mothula can be felled in one hit and the fact that Stagnox is pure epicness its no wonder my vote goes this way. Stagnox has to be one of the best first bosses in the game. (although Aquamantis is pretty epic too) Oni Dark Link 14:33, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
  5. I would almost vote for Mothula, but you do anything and Mothula shoots those pine cone things at you. Stagnox has class, he ALMOST hits you with those...oh my THEY ARE WHAT? ComeBackKing
  6. Stag Beetles pwn Moths anyday. Giant Stag Beetles still epically pwn Giant Moths. Just look at him. HE'S A GIANT STAG BEETLE. Whats not to like? - Stars xxx
  7. I HATE moths, and Stagnox´s battle is WAY more epic and fun. Although, Mothula is OK, but Stagnox takes the price in here. --The Gerudo Guy (talk) 19:37, January 12, 2010 (UTC)The Gerudo Guy
  8. Mothra and Dracula? I don't think so. Stagnox is a boss and Mothula is a mini-boss with pathetic children without wings. Stagnox takes the win for being a fresh approach to old tactics. User:HeroofAwesome
  9. Stag Beetles > Moths. BTW, those "Spiked bomb bug things" are called Blastworms. --DekuStickMaster
  10. Stagnox was cool. Very intimidating. Awesome music, too. In fact, I've beaten him several times, thanks to Take 'Em All On. I've never played Wind Waker, anyway. (But I want to!) Ceiling Master (talk) 20:58, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
  11. Don' t have anything against Mothula, but Stagnox is way cooler. I mean, where else can you find a giantic insect so awesome that it makes Blastworms come out of nowhere? --Pkmns (talk) 20:59, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
  12. I haven't played WW but Stagnox really made me realize that Spirit was gonna be awesome.--DarkTriforce (talk) 00:31, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
  13. Stagnox was a great first boss to a awesome new game, and mothula was just a regular enemy used as a mid boss,so my vote is for stagnox!--Doubleg2x 20:37, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
  14. I like this boss in Spirit tracks much better Wind wake. Tabs34
  15. He is a fun boss battle, I hate battling Mothula... Ray Talk 2 me 21:07, January 14, 2010 (UTC)
  16. Stagnox requires the use of the Whirlwind, which was the first truly innovative use of the DS microphone for the LoZ series. Mothula, on the other hand, moved slightly too fast for you to hit well, and you didn't get the Boomerang, which happens to be the most effective item against it, until after you beat him the first time. Stagnox FTW!--primalGanon 21:50 , January 15, 2010 (UTC)
  17. Stagnox is a stag beetle while mothula is just a moth. *#*#*#enso8#*#*#* (talk) 16:58, January 16, 2010 (UTC)
  18. Stanox is a boss, Mothula is a mini boss........Enough said BetweenBlack&White
  19. Mothula is okay but all it takes to kill it is one fire arrow! Just one! Also Stagnox can be a little hard for first time Zelda players. Linkmanperson
  20. Stagnox. Just TRY and tell me he is even CLOSE to as annoying as (shudders) Mothula. STAGGY ALL THE WAY! Hidden Link

Anonymous votes

  1. What do you think will win? A giant stag beetle or a pathetic moth?
  2. Stagnox is a boss.
  3. Think about it, A collassal Beetle with armour that can fly or a moth that lays eggs /babiz and fly!!!
  4. Being annonomous voter number three from last fight, even though i am insane, i must still fight for the boss, not an annoying miniboss.-Meep Meep
  5. I just think stagnox is way cooler.-Phantom Zelda
  6. Stagnox is just a lot better to fight. Plus, Stagnox. It just sounds REALLY cool and awesome. - Phantom Momo

Peanut Gallery

Isn't Stagnox a Boss?

You has a good point. Under pressure, I get stuff like that wrong a lot of the time. --AuronKaizer! 14:38, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
I get stuff wrong without pressure Oni Dark Link 16:40, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

This is why I hate bug fights. We can tell Mothula and Stagnox are both female because they release larvae from their abdomens. It's obvious, I would think. Yet people still insist on using male pronouns. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 18:38, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

They could be marsupeals and keep their young in hidden pouches. Oni Dark Link 19:19, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

Possible, but realistically unlikely given that their real-life counterparts do nothing of the sort. Nintendo probably isn't smart enough to do stuff like that anyway. Besides, if you're going to assume a gender when using gender specific pronouns, it's better to use the one that is 70% more likely, in this case that the two are female. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 19:24, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
Id say Mothula would be female but Stagnox just looks very like an angry male. Look at those eyes. And as you said they should be laying eggs anyway so it doesnt make much sense all round. Oni Dark Link 19:26, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
Are you serious? You're basing the gender of a BEETLE on the assumptions of how can find the gender of a HUMAN? That is beyond absurd. And as I said (and gave reasons for), it makes far more sense than them being male. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 19:29, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
There is no way we can really know for sure Oni Dark Link 19:32, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
Well, they never explicitly tell us Armogohma's gender. Maybe it's really a male that lays eggs even though that makes no sense but you know it's possible because Hyrule doesn't follow the same rules as the real world. That's the kind of logic you're using here. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 19:36, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
Yes thats the exact logic im using Oni Dark Link 19:38, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
Wow. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 19:40, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
That's weird. That's exactly my what my answer would be. --AuronKaizer! 20:37, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
Seahorse males are the ones that give birth. It could be something like that, or maybe the bugs are asexual. Or maybe it's a freaking video game.--MaloMart (talk) Malo.png 23:09, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
Like I said. Certainly possible but unlikely given the situation. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 00:03, January 13, 2010 (UTC)

The Gohma from OoT is called Queenie by the deku scrubs and she does have larva come out into battle if you take to long to beat her (I think), so the laws of nature (at least in our world) are in effect in that case at least.Zoma89

But in general natural laws dont make sense. I mean look at how different each gohma incarnation is. They range from being the boss of a tree to being the boss of a volcano. Having six legs or having sixty. Oni Dark Link 21:45, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
Uhhhhhh.....what exactly is your point? If anything, you're noting evolution occurring with Gohmas, which is a natural law (or at least for the people that aren't creationists). Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 00:03, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
Your both at fault here. Even comparing natural laws to something like Zelda is just......ehh? Xykeb is right from a real-world stand point, and Oni is right from a in-game standpoint. Thusly, your both wrong and stuck in an impass.-- C2 / CC 00:43, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
Thats actually false. You can be a creationist and believe in evolution. Your thinking of the Old Testament vs. modern science. And on that note this is the worst ToC we have ever had in my opinion and I will not be voting. How it even went through is beyond me, seeing as it was removed the other day. --EveryDayJoe45 (talk) 00:44, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
Whatever, then evolution is a natural law in all respects. And CC....nah, I'm not even going to say it. I give up. Believe what you want. I'm done. And while I don't particularly care for the fight, I wouldn't say it's the worst one we've ever had. Of course, what I consider the worst one we've ever had is considered one of the best by some people, so I guess that's kind of a moot point. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 00:52, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
Did it deal with a game vs. dungeon? --EveryDayJoe45 (talk) 00:56, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
That's exactly it. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 01:02, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
It's was the voting in the suggestions that got us here. We need to lighten up, and treat the suggestions as suggestions, not as a main event. It kinda detracts from the ToC with me. -- C2 / CC 01:05, January 13, 2010 (UTC)

I hate this fight. Its an obvious mismatch. It would have been better if it was Mothula from LttP, which I as I recall was a hard fight. What do other people think about that? ComeBackKing

Well, obviously people liked it enough for it to go through, but personally I don't care for it either, and apparently Joe thinks it's the worst fight we've ever had. As for the ALttP Mothula, that would have even less similarities than this one and so I think it would be worse, to be honest. The thing for me is that Mothula and Stagnox in general just don't seem that similar to me. I mean, they have similarities, but none of them are obvious and you almost have to root around for them. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 02:04, January 14, 2010 (UTC)

Week 80: Carpet Merchant vs. Gwonam

Carpet Merchant
"Carpet Merchant"
Carpet Merchant

LLLLLLLLLLLADIES AND GENTLEMENNNNNN! For the 80th time, Zeldapedia Corps Group, Inc. brings you the TEMPLE. OF. COURAGE! And this week, we have two bearded old men who like to rip off and confuse people (try to guess which does what) and fly around on magic carpets for no apparent reason other than to perpetuate lame stereotypes. Draw your eyes to the center ring!

In the brown corner is a bearded gentleman who floats around in a desert, tricking unsuspecting adventurers into paying a whole lot of money for what they believe to be the Lost Sword of D'olgo'th'th'th'th'th'th'th'th, but in truth are only completely optional remote controlled bombs. THIS. IS. THE CAAAAAAAAAAAAARPET MERCHANT!

In the pinkred-ish corner is a great fortune-teller(?) who dabbles in prophecy. Most Zelda fans deny his very existence; however, his random utterings have become the stuff of Internet memes. THIS. IS. GWOOOOOOOOOOONAM!

And now, to once and forever settle the dispute of who is the more hated character who flies a carpet to work, it is time. Say it with me now...SQUADALA, WWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'RE OFFFFFFFFF!!!

Votes for Carpet Merchant

  1. I prefer weirdos that sit on a flying carpet in the middle of a sandstorm. Oh, an I also prefer real video games. --EveryDayJoe45 (talk) 00:37, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Merchants are better than people that speak random. Also, he looks like the greatest hippie of all hippies! - McGillivray227 (talk)
  3. As much as I hate this hippie, there is something disturbing about an old man in a purple bath robe and pink shower cap. --Birdman5589 (talk) 01:52, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
  4. i absolutely hate what the philips cdi games have done to youtube plus this guy lets you practice sword stuff in MMDevdude (talk) 02:43, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
  5. He's an actual Zelda Character. I do not tolerate cd-i.--RH 17:55, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
  6. he can a bombuchu to blow the other guy up ! --Yorick141 (talk) 19:07, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
  7. I remember when MM came out and and everyone was talking about hidden cheats in the game, everyone wanted to get the sword on the wall in his place. Needless to say it didn't work but its a fond Zelda memory. And oh yeah, is that his hair or his mustache? ComeBackKing
  8. I vote just cuz of the hair, I mean LOOK AT IT! --Hydropanda
  9. Don't know the other guy is but i think the carpet Merchants cooler anyway. Zoma89
  10. I don't particularly like the Carpet Merchant, but at least he's from a real Zelda game. Ceiling Master (talk) 00:45, January 5, 2010 (UTC)
  11. He has a funny looking afro...Zebras are Mean RayTalk 2 me 22:22, January 5, 2010 (UTC)
  12. I Have never even heard of the other guy, but the carpet Merchant is the man. Tj hoffman (talk) 06:57, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
  13. "I am selling stuff, strange and rare, from all over the world to everybody" Oni Dark Link 20:53, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
  14. I never knew this guy existed until years after my first playthrough!!!!! --Egos There (talk) 22:34, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
  15. I agree with anon number three. Solar flute (talk) 03:42, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
  16. Gwonam is not Canonical and therefore does not exist. LONG LIVE THE CANON!!! User:HeroofAwesome
  17. I think only appearing in one of the worst games ever should automatically disqualify Gwoman.Jrg4444 (talk)
  18. I agree with Jrg4444.Anything remotely CD-i related is not Zelda canon,in my eyes.--Farore.din.nayru (talk) 00:29, January 10, 2010 (UTC)farore.din.nayru (talk)
  19. I agree with the two above comments. User:TheUltimateHokage88 (talk)

Anonymous votes

  1. I like his 70's look!
  2. You wish you were as smart as him when you were selling stuff.
  3. Squadala! Were off! It is said only LINK can defeat ganon! Ganon has seized the isle of koridai! After a couple minutes of that on youtube I completely lost it. Besides, the carpet merchant has....... A BIGGER FRICKEN CARPET! GWONAM AND HIS CDI GAME ARE PURE EVIL!!!!!!! As you can clearly see I am still insane.
  4. I always liked his business management skills. You know. The ones you never had. And the fact that he's from one of the best games of all time makes him the obvious winner.
  5. I HATE this guy. But at least he's canon.
  6. I detest the CD-i series. Plus, MM is my favourite game. So I guess I'll vote for this guy.
  7. Bombs=win.
  8. I refuse to vote for any, I said ANY CHARACTER FROM THE CD-I's!!
  9. This guy was amazing. I never did find out if all his hair grew that way, or if his mustache grew that way. But the fact that he is in a REAL Zelda game makes him an epic winner!
  10. Not many people can scam Link that way. His hair/mustache/whatever is cool, also.
  11. He was the best con artist ever. I also hated the CDi version with an intense passion.
  12. I have to give the Carpet Merchant my vote. He's got wicked hair and even better business skills.

Votes for Gwonam

  1. It is written; only Dinner can defeat The Pit. And I hate that merchant so much; more than I do the record industry for actually charging people money for music made by Muse! Toilet paper should be free, or at the very least cheap. --AuronKaizer! 00:31, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Nothing, except perhaps King Harkinian, CATS, Error, and Miley Cyrus, can achieve the infamy that Gwonam inspires. He is one of the central pain inflicters of terrible video game lore. And what does the Carpet Merchant do? He overprices some stuff. No comparison really. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 00:45, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
  3. It is written, only your sword and The Map are enough to find my house! YOU and your minions have seized the birds! Ah, Gwonam, we've had such fun together.--MaloMart (talk) Malo.png 01:03, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
  4. Old Man Afro there just over charges some Bombchu's, Gwonam take's you through an entire crappy game. Nuff said.-- C2 / CC 01:08, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
  5. Gwonam inspires a debate within myself: exactly what is the nature of non-existence? Gwonam has achieved infamy despite the fact that his only real role is in a game that doesn't exist. SQUADALA Jedimasterlink (talk) 01:34, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
  6. SQUADALA! And the Carpet guy scams you so badly its not even funny. plus, his hair is so big that i'm surprised he doesn't fall off the carpet. User:DekuStickMaster
  7. He says one of my favorite lines ever: "See how Harlequin captures Koridians?" Portal-Kombat
  8. Heh, I had soooooooooooo much fun watching the mindless YouTube poops. So stupid, yet somehow so hilarious. SQUADALA FTW, baby! —Lisa URAQT Click it. You know you want to. Do it 03:16, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
  9. This guy is obviously a beast. I mean come on? Squadala? Best line ever. User talk:Hello Doggy
  10. SQUADALA! *#*#*#enso8#*#*#* (talk)
  11. i've seen this guy enouph times in youtube poops to know thet he's better then a afro dude who sells u over priced bombachus. oh ya, and Squadala is epic. User talk:Doubleg2x
  12. THIS IS SCAMMER! TO THE LEFT! annoying is better than being cheated.-Toasty9001
  13. Really I wasn't sure who either of them are since i haven't played this game and haven't played OoT in 5 years. Now I remeber who the carpet merchant is and how he scammed me grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Plus this guy has a catchphrase I'm voting for him. Tabs34
  14. Only because I don't vote for con-men. Yowuza yadderhouse | meh 17:15, January 5, 2010 (UTC)
  15. It is written that only toasters can defeat the birds! Besides, his quote "Here is a map: where do you wish to go?" backwards answers what Harkinian has for dinner: "What shall we eat now? Ham? Zee nice!" YouTube is awesome. Oh yeah, SQUADALA! --Majora4Prez (talk) 02:55, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
  16. It is written, only BOMBS can defeat MAH BOI! Gwonam is Beast! and of course, you know what I have to end my comment with... SQUADALA!!!!!!!! Hylianhero777 (talk) 15:27, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
  17. [Your majesty,][Bowser][and his][Koopalings][have seized][all the][foods][in the world.][It is written: Only][Dr. Rabbit] [can defeat][Bowser] Oddball 464 20:48, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
  18. Wow! The CD-i games are so very overlooked just because of their crappy controls, but I enjoyed the characters and their wacky ways :) Gwonam's got my vote!Draconicus (talk) 03:54, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
  19. If this is a contest of who is hated more, I'm definitely voting for Gwonam. I never even met the carpet merchant, and his Termina counterpart is pretty cool. I'll admit it, I have actually laughed at Gwonam quite a few times in his Youtube Poop appearances. After all of those stupid lines of the words of LittleKuriboh, aka CardgamesFTW, "Just do it already, you offensive stereotype!" The non-canon guy gets my vote. Sir Real
  20. Squadala! We're off!--DarkTriforce (talk) 23:54, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
  21. Can the Carpet Merchant claim to have his own Uncyclopedia mention, or YouTube video? I don't think so. And seriously, BombChus? Outside of PH, do those things even mater? Sincerely, Watcher.

Anonymous votes

  1. SQUADALA! 'nuff said
  2. come on, Gwoman v.s a ugly guy, gwman should win .the only thing i got to say is SQUADALA!
  3. Gwonam may be strange and annoying, but at least he doesn't cheat people out of their hard-earned rupees.
  4. S-Q-U-A-D-A-L-A.
  5. Squdala indeed!

Peanut Gallery

@XYZ: I think Old Man would be included in that listing Oni Dark Link 00:53, January 4, 2010 (UTC)

I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Once they get into my head I have to say them! Curse you for bringing this out, Gwonam! TOAST SPAGHETTI DINNER MAH BOI YOU MUST DIE ENCLOSED INSTRUCTION BOOK BOMBS MMMMM THIS IS ILLEGAL YOU KNOW THAT'S MAMA LUIGI TO YOU! Phew! It's all out now.--MaloMart (talk) Malo.png 03:50, January 4, 2010 (UTC)

BOOUIGI! --AuronKaizer! 03:53, January 4, 2010 (UTC)

I wonder how ashamed we'll all feel if/when a CD-i character wins the Temple of Courage. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 07:04, January 4, 2010 (UTC)

You voted for it. --EveryDayJoe45 (talk) 15:47, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
If he does, well whatever happens to ZP, I still have my wiki to fall back on--RH 17:59, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
Careful now; it's so full of holes it might just collapse if you fall. --AuronKaizer! 19:07, January 4, 2010 (UTC)

This is the one thing I hate about MM using the same character models as OoT. At least one person always think we're talking about the character from the game we're not talking about about. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 23:24, January 4, 2010 (UTC)

The MM models have slightly more vertices most of the time though, thanks to the Expansion Pak...not that anyone but really OCD graphic freaks could tell the difference. --AuronKaizer! 23:26, January 4, 2010 (UTC)

@PK: Those smaller lines are often overlooked as the comedic gems that they are. Personally, my favorite Gwonam line (besides the obvious) is "At last, you have the vision to find my house!"--MaloMart (talk) Malo.png 01:16, January 5, 2010 (UTC)

"...only completely optional remote controlled bombs." Actually, they're needed in the Spirit Temple, so they aren't completely optional. You just don't have to buy them. Whirligig (talk) 02:22, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

Actually, you can just throw a normal bomb at that rock. If you time it so the Bomb explodes when it's at the apex of its trajectory, you will hit the rock. Though I didn't try that until my third playthrough of the game... Jedimasterlink (talk) 04:17, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
There's a room in Ganon's Castle (either the Spirit or Light section) that requires Bombchus.--MaloMart (talk) Malo.png 05:12, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
Those who hate on carpet merchant for his scam, at least the bombchus work, unlike the friggin' Giant's knife. Also, he's in a desert where he is the only one who sells them for miles, so of course he has the business sense to take advantage of the monopoly. People are gredy, get used to it.--RH 04:31, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
The Giant's Knife DOES work, in the same sense that an Xbox 360 works until it breaks down within a couple of months. --AuronKaizer! 04:34, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
Days Oni Dark Link 12:07, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
Has anyone actually played the CD-i games? They have very interesting characters, albeit a VERY crappy control scheme. Gwonam was just a classic character among them :)
Also, that comment above is win.Draconicus (talk) 04:41, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
Well, yeah, if you think beating classic Zelda characters into lame stereotypes and introducing characters that make no sense is interesting. Xykeb Yvolix Zraliv 19:22, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Awww, come on, Xykeb! That's what makes it so awesome :PDraconicus (talk) 20:54, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Why are people compairing games that the characters are in? seems kind of unfair if u ask me. Double G 2x 16:34, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
Unfortunetly we cant control the way people think (but one day I will!) Oni Dark Link 22:24, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
Maybe you should start with yourself? :P --AuronKaizer! 01:03, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
No one can control the way people think except for Big Brother and the Pope.--MaloMart (talk) Malo.png 01:18, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
And anyone who can perform a Jedi Mind Trick. Jedimasterlink (talk) 04:15, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure they aren't remote controlled. Solar flute (talk) 03:41, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

Being controlled from a remote location counts. Then, what do you suggest controls it? Link's mind? --AuronKaizer! 03:43, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
I'm pretty sure they're self-propelled. Jedimasterlink (talk) 03:54, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

Well, well. Now that we've reached Sunday, I guess I'd better change it. Surprising that Gwonam didn't win, though. Sincerely, Watcher.

I have no regrets. On what, I don't know.--RH 16:14, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

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