- "Pa-Pa-Pa-Paper, please!"
- — ???
??? is a recurring character in the Legend of Zelda series. ??? is the name given to a person of unknown identity whose only visible body part is an arm. Although the only thing visible on ??? is his arm, it might well be that his body is located inside the toilet from which he sticks out his hand. He is in constant need of paper for a seemingly obvious reason.
When Link talks to him, he first lets out an audible moan before asking him for toilet paper, but the only paper in the game are Title Deeds, Anju's Letter to Kafei, and Kafei's Letter to Mama. Once he is given any of these pieces of paper, ??? withdraws into the toilet, and after stating his "relief", he gives Link a Piece of Heart that was dropped into the toilet. Upon repetition, Link will be given a Blue Rupee instead. However, once Link gives ??? paper, the paper can not be taken back, and Link will have to redo certain parts of the sidequests for which the item was needed.
??? can be found in the lavatory located in western Lynna Village in the Past, and again requires paper. As part of the game's trading quest, if ??? is given the Stationery, he will give Link a Stink Bag in return, which has odorous properties necessary in order to clear the sinuses of a Tokay who is sick.
??? can be interacted with in a number of ways such as dropping seeds into the hole to annoy him or pushing the nearby chamberpot into the hole. Despite this abuse, ??? does not retaliate. ??? says different things to Link depending on what is dropped into the hole. If an Ember Seed is dropped into the hole, ??? will yell "Ooo...hot!", if a Scent Seed is dropped, he will yell, "Ewwww!", and if a Mystery Seed is dropped, he will exclaim, "W-what?" If the pot is pushed into the hole, ??? will shout, "Nooooo!"
According to an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Shigeru Miyamoto claimed that ??? and other similar beings in the Legend of Zelda series are based on Japanese ghost stories where a hand emerges from within the toilet and grabs the person sitting on it. Miyamoto claimed that these stories are "very scary."