User:Captain Cornflake

Rescued Dispatch From The Man With Two Toes
Captain Cornflake is a very mysterious being. It is unknown where he originated from, but most people would guess that he crawled forth from the depths of the primordial ooze.

The good Captain was raised by various mountain trolls throughout his life. It was this little event in his upbringing that brought forth his infamous method of communication. Captain Cornflake was known to enjoy trolling and starting fights with almost everyone and everything that he touched.

Upon his arrival at ZU, the good capn was noted for his "dickheadish" remarks as some people would say, but what made him so infamous was his ability to attract other "dickheads"-[sic]. The good capn is best known for his famous statement/trend "To boldly go where no troll has gone before". (capn's note: I did not coin that phrase, it was either Tim or Travis, before my time so I'm not sure) Amazingly, the various simpletons saw ingenuity in the capn, and he had assembled quite a motley crew.

It is unknown what happened to the capn's odd assortment of groupies, but it can be assumed that they had angered one too many goats for trolling around so much. In the end, the capn is memorized for being a total ass, total troll, a total game/tech nerd, and a total god in human form. Perhaps the world will one day see the capn as a true sinner, or perhaps those who see him as a true sinner will one day see him as a martyr...