User:Portal-Kombat/Top 128

This page was once a place for obligatory lists, but I've decided that it will be better used as a place for reviews of games I've played. There will be several for sure that you've heard of and played yourself, but there are some more surprising ones and obscure ones too. For reference, I'm rating these with six factors: Story, Gameplay, Graphics, Sound, Cast, and Lasting Appeal. Also, I'll give each game it's own introduction in case you need to know a bit of the backstory, or how I came to play it. So without further ado, here we go.

Amazing Island
Before Spore, there was Amazing Island. This was a game made by SEGA and you can play it on the Gamecube. I played it at my neighbor's house one time, and then later bought it for myself to learn more about it and finish the game. No doubt there are some cool concepts going on here, but a shiver runs down my spine when I remember the supporting comment on the back of the box: "Think of it as a blend of Pokemon and Mario Party. What could be a better combo than that?" What indeed.


 * Story: Some kid finds a magic book in the attic about Amazing Island, then goes to sleep and hears a voice calling them from inside their head. The kid falls from the sky and lands on Amazing Island, which has been overrun by the forces of the Black Evil. Yeah, what a great name to give to a villain >_> and the only way to stop it is to reclaim all of the Vision Orbs. So, you get to make your own monster and then go out and get the Vision Orbs. You beat the Black Evil and it turns out it was all a dream. Great. (4/10)
 * Gameplay: Well, the monster editing process is good and you CAN make infinitely many creations, so go crazy. The monster editing process is the best part of the game, and hopefully that's where you'll be spending most of your time if you're smart, because the rest of the game is made up of MINIGAMES. Well, I have to hand it to the Black Evil, there's nothing worse than a fistful of annoying minigames to make someone feel like NOT saving Amazing Island. Some of them are somewhat fun, while others border on near impossible, or badly designed. But what a waste! You can make so many incredible monsters, and all you can use them for is minigames?! At least you'll sometimes get to unlock preset monsters made by the game's designers if you score insanely high amounts of points in some games. They are generally amusing and range from legendary dragons to floating cat aliens to football players with leprosy to bald people with creepily huge mouths in loincloths. Apparently, there's an RPG you can play if you hook a GBA up to the Gamecube which is better than the game itself. I've seen small parts of it, and it looks OK. (7/10)
 * Graphics: It's a somewhat interesting approach that looks OK, not much to say about it other than it's cartoony and reminds me of Wind Waker a bit. (7.5/10)
 * Sound: I liked the fact that you could unlock a Sound Test in this game, because some of the music is nice. Sound effects are pretty good and suit the whole minigame atmosphere, but nothing special. Some music is annoying, while other tracks are alright. Not too much here, really. (6.5/10)
 * Cast: Really bland, and the characters are fun to make fun of in real life, especially the Elder, who looks like an evil nutcracker. (2/10)
 * Lasting Appeal: After you beat it once, you'll be really fed up with the minigames. You might want to keep making monsters and you can probably have some fun with that GBA RPG if you're willing to go to the trouble, I've heard good things about it. (5/10)
 * Overall: Some people will really enjoy this game for the monster editing process, and it can be fun if you avoid the minigames altogether and just stick to the RPG. There's only one thing that's amazing on this island, and it's the monster editing system. You'll want to rent it first before you consider purchasing it. (5.3/10)

Dr. Mario 64
Unless you've been living on the 14th floor of a subterranean labyrinth sealed underneath a rock since your beginnings, chances are if you're reading this you've heard of Tetris. You might NOT have heard of the "Mario" equivalent of Tetris, Dr. Mario. Some people learned about him when he was featured as one of the first awesome unlockable characters in Super Smash Bros. Melee. I took the time to find this game in a bargain bin somewhere and find a few people who also wanted to play it. Here's the verdict!


 * Story: Actually, it's pretty funny that this game has not one story, but two separate, intertwining storylines that aren't remotely deep or even intriguing- just there. However, they are quite funny and you'll get a good laugh one way or another during the cutscenes, and seeing some of the animations. Dr. Mario's story is that his MegaVitamins that he uses to cure patients of various sicknesses has been stolen by the evil "Mad Sciencestein." So Dr. Mario goes on a quest to catch Mad Sciencestein. Along the way he gets into fights with various ne'er do wells and people that are simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. It turns out that Mad Sciencestein wanted to hand over the formula to none other than (you actually might be interested by this) SPOILER Rudy- an actually creepy Mario villain /SPOILER. The fundamental flaw in the story is that Dr. Mario uses MegaVitamins to fight off his foes- but wait, didn't Mad Sciencestein steal them? Did Mario just summon more? Why should he even care to chase this guy? Wario's story revolves around him trying to get to Mad Sciencestein first to beat him up, steal and sell the formula for cash. Each storyline has new and funny cutscenes. (5/10)
 * Gameplay: In addition to a fun adventure mode where you can select many difficulty levels, some totally impossible, there is a classic mode where you just have to keep going through advancing stages of viruses. Destroying all the viruses in the container is how you win a match in any mode. You do this by lining up the color-coded MegaVitamins with the matching viruses. Four of the same color in any direction will cause the viruses trapped within to disappear. Sounds simple, yes, but it is incredibly strategic! If you manage to pull of massive combos by building up a tower of set viruses, you can use a special move with an interesting animation that causes random MegaVitamin pieces to shower down on your opponent, likely forestalling your final judgement. Of course, if they're really lucky it could miss or help them. The gameplay is highly customizable, and most important of all is the multiplayer, which is perhaps the best, most engaging multiplayer on the N64! The gameplay is... BETTER than Tetris. There, I said it! (10/10)
 * Graphics: Definitely lacking- it looks like Paper Mario, but with zero production- they just bounce around and show different moves. A lot of it looks too much like SNES, in fact! Some bits even look NES-ish! Seriously, they should've spent more time on this part! (3/10)
 * Sound: Some annoying songs, but some that perfectly suit the atmosphere. By the way, there's an awesome final boss song which is really intimidating! (8/10)
 * Cast: Actually, many of the characters are from Wario's earliest games. Even the main villain turns out to be an infamous final boss who wants revenge. There are also a pair of super-secret hidden characters that are bosses rewarded for beating the toughest modes under certain conditions. I haven't unlocked either. (7/10)
 * Lasting Appeal: Once in a while you might want to play through the adventure mode, and the classic modes are good displays of skill. By far, the thing that won't grow old is the multiplayer, because after you haven't played for about a year and then play it again, you'll start remembering all the controls and have just as much fun as you did last time. The multiplayer is amazingly fun and is the sole reason why you should at least rent this game. (10/10)
 * Overall: Although Dr. Mario 64 has definitely dated graphics which anyone can notice, you'll get a lot of joy out of the multiplayer, one of the few multiplayer games which is just as much fun every time- and that's certainly an impressive achievement. Otherwise, there's really not much to come back for. (7.2/10)

EarthBound
A cult classic. Well, I am an RPG hater, so this one's tough for me. I've played it and finished it completely. I learned about it through Smash Bros. Brawl and was eager to play it after I finished its predecessor, the super-powerfully spectacular MOTHER 3. EarthBound is the second game in the MOTHER trilogy, and the only one that got a release in the U.S. Of course, it's quite different from other games of the time, but does this mean it's better? Perhaps in some ways it is, but in other ways it can be just as tedious as other RPGs.


 * Story: Odd. Fans of the game, and even reviewers of the time that didn't like the game praised it for its story. I found the story fairly stupid overall, perhaps in part due to some parts of the game that were obviously lacking care in the translation category. But seriously, it makes next to no sense. A meteorite crashes on top of a hill near Ness' house, he goes to investigate and is told by a bee-like traveler from the future that Giygas destroys the universe or something in the future, and Ness has to stop it. And it turns out (spoiler) that his next-door neighbor Porky Minch was Giygas' right-hand man the whole time. (/spoiler) The beginning, though odd, makes enough sense, but somewhere around Fourside everything gets sidetracked and turns into an incomprehensible mess that looks kind of like the boss you face in Belch's Factory, and the only way out is to pay the Hint Man to tell you where to go next. During the first playthrough of this game, the Hint Man is your absolute savior. See? Even talking about it gets me sidetracked! (7/10)
 * Gameplay: Like other RPGs, but you see all your characters on screen at once, as well as the enemies you can engage in battle with. Your HP is managed by a rolling meter, so if you're hit for 150 damage and you have 100 HP, it'll start scrolling down to zero. If you can heal before that time, you can keep fighting! But the numbers fly by so past that most of the time the feature is next to useless. You get cash from battles and use it to equip weapons and armor before heading off into the next inconveniently placed dungeon in front of the place you have to go to get the thing you need to go to the next place with the next thing you need *yawn* the regular. At least the enemies you run into are bizarre. Most of the time though, they're just odd doodles that have sprouted eyes and want to fight you, and are surprisingly efficient at it. The towns actually have the best enemies, which are possessed people which are always fun to fight, sometimes because you'll have an awkward conversation with them before they suddenly jump to the wrong conclusion about you. So for the most part it is actually quite boring, but now and again a hilarious, fun part will come along and wash away the bad memories. (7.5/10)
 * Graphics: They're not as bad as everyone says. In fact, combined with some of the music, a few of the locales are downright deep and inspiring, like the sanctuaries and the mysterious worlds you adventure through towards the game's end. "Mysterious" isn't enough to do it justice, but whatever. Some of the sprites are funny, and a few might actually remind you of South Park- especially in one of the best parts of the game, Happy Happy Village. Has the look of a SNES classic. (8.5/10)
 * Sound: A lot of the sound effects sound kind of stupid and annoying, but there are cool ones too, like PK Starstorm and the sounds of the final bosses' insane attacks. The music however, is handled very well for the most part. A lot of the battle music simply sucks, though. It doesn't help that a lot of the worst battle songs are played over and over again, instead of the good ones like the one that plays when fighting the Smilin' Sphere, and the one for the Hippie. Miniboss theme is probably the best, and the final boss theme is awesome heavy metal! The themes for the towns and houses in the beginning are lighthearted and nice to hear, and there's one song that plays while you're crossing a lake that sounds terrificly epic, with surprisingly good sound effects for the wind. (9/10)
 * Cast: Really great! One of the spots where this game is particularly memorable. For sprites, there's a lot of personality and depth to even the most insignificant NPCs which can be catchy, quirky, useful, but never annoying and always fun to read. The dialogue for some of the enemy people before they attack is hilarious and always adds to the battle afterwards. Here's a good one to try: in Happy Happy Village, steal from the self-service stand, then walk near the guy and he'll attack you because you didn't pay, resulting in a battle with the "Unassuming Local Guy." The dialogue for some of the attacks is funny too. "The Hippie used the Toothbrush and his teeth were white. The whiteness of his teeth shocked the enemy!" From beginning to end and even afterwards, the characters never get old. (10/10)
 * Lasting Appeal: The beginning and end of the game are the best parts hands-down, so that means that once you finish a playthrough, you'll likely want to play it again. Unfortunately, you'll get lost in the pile of random barf somewhere around Fourside, and be bogging around in it until you reach Deep Darkness, which is ironically a bog. Then again, maybe that's part of the "clever writing" Shigesato Itoi is famous for? He does sometimes have a sick sense of humor. (5/10)
 * Overall: If you're a fan of RPGs and aren't annoyed at having to pay the Hint Man when the story takes a bathroom break in your gym locker and don't mind a lot of repetitive grinding and losses to embarrassingly odd enemies, then you'll appreciate the brilliant side of this game without caring too much about the bad side, and will likely keep coming back for more. It's not my kind of game, but there's a great cast here with good graphics and music too. Don't let the tediousness keep you away. (7.8/10)

Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles (GCN)
I got this game for free from a friend of mine. I'd seen the case a few times in a few stores, but never did more than glance at it. I got just the disc without the box, but that's fine by me, so long as it's free! Anyways, this is a very different game from the Final Fantasy series, which generally consist of turn-based RPGs. This one, as it turns out, is a hack-and-slash. But for RPG haters for me, is that a plus? Well, I played the game for around five months and beat it, and here's what I've got to say.


 * Story: The world was cloaked in a poisonous substance called miasma long ago. It was deadly to humans that breathed it. Fortunately, the large crystals spread across the towns could repel the miasma to keep the people safe. However, the crystal's power has to be replenished annually or else its light will fade. To do that, expeditions set off from the various towns to search for myrrh, the water of life. Each caravan is provided with a chalice which holds a small crystal to protect the traveling group, and the chalice must be filled with three drops of myrrh. Myrrh comes from myrrh trees, conveniently enough, each one provides a single drop every other year. However, the myrrh trees always grow in inconvenient locations. So each year, you travel to various lands to search for myrrh and to complete that year. So is there an end to the story? Yes, but you'll have to figure out how to get there by yourself. Maybe you'll be able to patch together the various clues the game provides you and solve the mystery. When you do figure it out, you're treated to an odd ending that reveals the origin of myrrh, miasma and other such matters. (8/10)
 * Gameplay: I'd play multiplayer, but it just so happens that I don't want to have to buy four GBA linkup cables. That's one of the game's most prominent flaws- not allowing players to use Gamecube controllers unless it's single player. Anyhow, single player is the same as multiplayer but with one difference (you guessed it) there's just you, and a Moogle that carries the protective chalice for you. As it turns out, the Moogle is much more trouble than it's worth, regularly getting tired, slowing down, getting trapped behind walls and generally endangering you at every turn. It doesn't help that most characters are terrible at dodging/blocking the cascade of enemy attacks that you're going to encounter (cascade is putting it lightly. The entire game is practically a siege against the universe.) There are four different races that you can choose from. The Clavats are your standard humans who use swords and shields. The Lilties are Pikmin-esque little people that use spears. The Yukes are tall people that wear too many clothes at once with strange armor and beaks that cast magic, and the Selkies are half-wolf thieves or something that use tennis rackets. No matter who you choose, the game will be very unforgiving towards you. Even when you upgrade your offense and defense it won't matter because the dungeons will destroy you all the same- and they get tougher every time you visit them, including the (shudder) bosses. I did every dungeon three times before attempting the final one, because you'll get random cutscenes in the overworld that will count towards your "memory" total, a stat that at first seems useless but turns out to buy you time in the final battle. If you lose all your memories in the final fight you'll have to do the final dungeon FROM THE BEGINNING. And it is one long final dungeon, with many bosses to fight. This game is simply put, inhumane. (7/10)
 * Graphics: There are some very nice graphics and effects in this game- the world, people, monsters and spells are all very stunning, although some of the water effects aren't that great. Up to that point, they're some of the best water effects in a Final Fantasy game, which is in no way an insult to the rest of the series. (8.5/10)
 * Sound: There's a different composer in this game, and she's brilliant. The sound effects are OK, but can get a little repetitive. (9/10)
 * Cast: Characters in this game are pretty generic. There's nobody with a really defined personality, and the game has a very lame villain. (4/10)
 * Lasting Appeal: Beat it once, you can't play it again. This game is long and hard enough as it is. What are you, a glutton for punishment?! (5/10)
 * Overall: This game has a lot of bizarre gameplay elements and bad ideas thrown in. But it has creativity as well. The problem is, the creativity won't help you get through the dungeons, which is what the game is all about. Definitely one of the hardest games ever created, at least in single player. With a proper level of difficulty this game would take about a month to beat. But five months?! This is just an elaborate ploy to get you to play multiplayer and buy those stupid GBA linkup cables. (7/10)

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (GCN)
Ah, a game I fondly remember, and have recently played through again as well. Some websites have been very kind to this game, such as IGN, which claims this is one of the best movie-to-game adaptations ever made. With the recent release of the movie "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" some people are looking back at the games of the series and seeing how far they've come. This was actually like the first Harry Potter game made, before Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone- so check out the series' origin!


 * Story: Generally, they expect people to have read the book or at least seen the movie before they play the game, but nevertheless there are a few parts where the story shows through the game, and they have a narrator explain things, sometimes very badly, like the whole part with the diary which is downright laughable in this game- a little lack of work in this category. It feels generally pretty forced and tacked on. However, you can feel it there at all times, which is a rather important thing. (7/10)
 * Gameplay: From the start, if you've played a Zelda game you'll be screaming "ZELDA" like the guy from the original commercial. If you haven't then you'll likely be impressed by the smart mechanics. L targets, A is the action button and you can equip spells from the pause screen to Y, X, and B. Of course, it's not nearly as refined of a Zelda system as say, Ocarina of Time, but a good system for this kind of game nonetheless and I'm really glad it's there. It makes the game a lot of fun to play. In addition, you can ride around on Harry's Nimbus 2000 broomstick after you unlock it. It only works outside, but it's blast the first couple of times and a nice feature the rest of the time. Harry's classes are rather like the "dungeons" of Zelda. You work your way through huge underground mazes to find a spellbook and use it to escape the place. Battles with enemies in this game feel kind of awkward though, the kind of thing you'd expect from a movie/game adaptation. Same can be said for the bosses. Puzzles are not Zelda caliber, but have something vaguely ingenious about them. Exploring Hogwarts is cool- there are tons of secret places to go and exploring by day and night feels totally different- much creepier at night, and sometimes you'll have to use stealth through some pretty intense sequences that have a definite Metal Gear Solid feel to them. In short, Zelda and Harry Potter had a kid and his name was Solid Snake. Weird, but you get the idea. And no, it didn't happen, go away. (8.5/10)
 * Graphics: Actually, a lot of the time the graphics look really nice! Especially in the first room of the Expelliarmus Spell Challenge Chamber. That's Twilight Princess quality right there. It's not that quality most of the time, but the graphics do the story justice and there's definitely a magical, playful atmosphere when there needs to be, or a shadowy, (sometimes a bit TOO dark) intense atmosphere for the night/stealth parts. (9/10)
 * Sound: There are some beautiful tracks in here, but there's something wrong with the programming of the game that can often make melodies play at the wrong time, like the music that plays when you're spotted by someone in a stealth sequence. Oftentimes they'll yell "HEY! YOU!" And fire spells at you, then you'll be out of the room and in a cutscene when all of the sudden the calm music goes "DUNNN!!!" and scares bits of your brain out of your ears. It's always a great laugh, and should be tried out by anyone that plays this game. There's some OK voice acting, but some of it is bad and annoying. Sound effects are nice, basically. (8/10)
 * Cast: Actually, there are some good characters that have better voice acting than you'd expect, like Tom the Bartender and the guy who sells Stink Pellets. The latter is an entirely original character and a memorable one at that. They did a good job here- except for Malfoy I'd say. There are also a lot of pointless NPCs... (7.5/10)
 * Lasting Appeal: Lots of Wizard Cards to look for, and triflingly small amounts of GBA support necessary for extra stuff. (7.5/10)
 * Overall: Believe me, it IS a great movie/game adaptation, but compared to a lot of games that were never movies in the first place, well, it's still quite a good game. If you like Harry Potter, you owe it to yourself to rent this and beat it. (7.9/10)

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (PC)
I was feeling nostalgic the other day, so a couple of friends and I decided that we were going to play through this PC game that we remembered as being fun. Surprisingly we got it to work perfectly, minus the fact that sometimes characters would randomly disappear, then reappear again. Creepy. So how does the PC game hold up against the first book/movie of the Harry Potter series?


 * Story: The story behind the book and movie is a classic, in my opinion. The game goes along with the assumption that you already know the story. If you haven't read the book or seen the movie then you'll definitely be lost. Granted, you might still finish the game but the story is presented so badly that it might as well not be there at all. (2/10)
 * Gameplay: It felt strange playing this game again, and it probably felt just as odd the first time through. The control is awkward, the puzzles are stupid, but not quite as stupid as the enemies (fire crabs are supposed to look vaguely like CRABS, not rainbow-colored laser turtles!!!). Harry Potter's classes are oddly enough similar to dungeons that one might encounter in, say... Zelda, maybe. Spells are fun to use though, like the levitation spell. It adds a vague "Half-Life" feel into the game. Also, just jumping around the dungeons and the forest outside Hogwarts is fun enough. There are a couple of instances where you fly on your broom, which is okay, and a part where you run from a troll, which is okay as well. Then there's a part where you have to avoid Filch that lasts for about two hours and is far more trouble than its worth.Towards the end of the game, the challenges become awkward and it feels more like a badly-produced game show than anything. The best aspect of the gameplay are the idiotic battles against Malfoy. He throws firecrackers at you and rides around on a broom, and if you hurt him he whines "You've damaged my broomstick, Potter!" Battling Peeves rivals it in stupidity. So now do you understand the gameplay? I don't either... but then why is it so fun? (6.5/10)
 * Graphics: I think I'm right in saying that the environments look fantastic, the monsters look bad for the most part aside from some Deku Baba rip-offs and giant snails, and the characters would look okay if their mouths moved when they spoke. (8/10)
 * Sound: The music is almost never-present besides the title screen, so I'll focus on other things. There are some creepy, phantom-like sound effects in the game, and there are really bad sound effects as well. The only real sounds you'll focus on are the voices of the characters, who seem to have been voiced by all the wrong people intentionally... except Peeves. Filch sounds like Gollum from Lord of the Rings, Dumbledore is THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD and nearly all of the children, who are at least 11, sound like first graders. Fred and George's voices are simply inexcusable. They sound like giant babies or something. It sounds so bad it's funny, like CD-i. (4/10)
 * Cast: Talk about a way to take the life out of every character from the story we ever cared about. Peeves is there for sure and is very annoying and unfunny, but some of the characters are unintentionally hilarious, like Malfoy's whiny noises. "You've damaged my broomstick, Potter!" (2/10)
 * Lasting Appeal: You beat it once, then never play it again unless you feel nostalgia, but if the memory remains fresh in your mind you'll know to stay away. (2/10)
 * Overall: People might remember this game as being great, and there are some good parts to it concerning parts of the gameplay and graphics, and the laughs you'll get out of the voices, but other than that there's no reason to play the game. Just go read the book or watch the movie. Much better. (4.1/10)

Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards
Kirby 64 is a game I've played during random, numerous occasions from place to place over the years without ever owning or even renting. BTW, this is the only Kirby game I'm going to review, so if you're a Kirby fan and don't like anything else, you might as well read nothing but this one.


 * Story: Very generic stuff. Everyone was happy until evil shadow/eyeball stuff started possessing people and stole the magic crystals. It was up to Kirby to stop them. Well, that's all there is to it! But, at the end there is a famously creepy final boss from Kirby history with a disturbing, dramatic theme- it's worth a look. (4/10)
 * Gameplay: For the most part this game is your average "cute" platformer but of course there is a Kirby twist to it, so you'll inhale smaller enemies and use them against the bigger ones which are otherwise invulnerable. This can be done by spitting them back out, or by digesting them to steal any special abilities they might possess. You can use this special move in battle until you want to throw it away. However, if done correctly you can throw the ability at another enemy and it'll kill it, fusing with that other enemy's ability. So if you eat the enhanced double abilities you'll gain a mysterious new combo move until you throw it away! Are you following all this? Good. Essentially, what this means is that Kirby has a wide variety of moves of varying effectiveness depending on the situations, and these moves are very creative too. You'll likely want to experiment for a while in the earlier levels trying out all of your ability combos. The search for the crystal shards themselves are not really exciting in the least- more tedious than anything else, with some fun moments along the way. Some bosses are tougher than nails, like Miracle Matter. (7.5/10)
 * Graphics: Very kid-friendly, until the game throws you for a loop during the finale! It plays out in a 2-D fashion, although sometimes the path will have you moving in a clearly visible circle. The graphics don't look to different from Animal Crossing for the Gamecube. (7.5/10)
 * Sound: Cheerful, energetic Kirby songs that keep you going, and an intense, dramatic final boss theme. (8/10)
 * Cast: Kirby's helped out by a group of characters that we couldn't care less about. Enemies are odd at best, although there are a couple of created bosses like Miracle Matter and the last one SPOILER 02 /SPOILER, and a miniboss you fight in the beginning which looks like something out of Scribblenauts which is a lot of fun to fight! (5/10)
 * Lasting Appeal: Chances are that after you've tried out every move and beaten the game at last, you'll never play it again except for the first planet, Pop Star. (4/10)
 * Overall: Other Kirby games are generally known to have a better reputation and cooler cast. But if you're a Kirby fan I could easily recommend this to you, it's not a bad game by any means, it's decent. Worth a rental for cool moves and a few fun battles to use them in if you can make it to the designated points. (6/10)

Luigi's Mansion
One of the Gamecube's first titles, this is the only Mario game where Luigi has been the main character instead. It's also very different from what people might have been expecting. You can't even jump in this game- instead, you use a vacuum to capture ghosts in a ghostbusters tribute of sorts. Is this a winning formula? Let's take a closer look.


 * Story: The Mario Bros. receive a strange letter in the mail saying that they won a mansion (in a contest that they didn't even enter) and a map within the note will lead them to it. Mario decides to go first and he'll meet up with Luigi after he gets there. So Luigi follows the map through a dark and mysterious forest and it comes to a clearing with the mansion, which looks much more ominous than the letter entailed. Luigi goes in and barely escapes a ghost attack thanks to professor Elvin Gadd, a ghost expert. E. Gadd gives Luigi a ghost-detector/radar map/GameBoy Color (called the Gameboy HoRrOr) and a vacuum cleaner and sends him into the mansion to save his brother from the ghosts. Long story short, Mario is saved, the mansion vanishes in the morning and if you found enough cash, Luigi and Mario will get a real mansion! If you didn't get enough money, your house won't be as luxurious. I think there are five different houses you can get. (7/10)
 * Gameplay: Many of the mansion's doors are locked, so you'll have to battle ghosts for the keys. Catching ghosts is a lot like fishing, only with more attacks to dodge. After clearing a room, the lights will go on and ghosts will avoid that room- except for Boos, special ghosts that hide in lit rooms. Sometimes, you'll come across special ghosts that have distinct personalities and quirks. You'll have to learn about them by searching the mansion for clues of their weaknesses before you can catch them. These ghosts are called "Portrait Ghosts" and they were once E. Gadd's captive ghosts until they were set free by King Boo, a powerful ghost and the final boss. Bosses in this game will transport you to nightmarish arenas to do battle in, as the mansion, as large as it is, is not large enough to contain these guys. Sometimes you'll have to shoot fire, water, and ice out of your vacuum cleaner to solve different mysteries. There are secret rooms too, and optional Portrait Ghosts to hunt down. Put it all together and it's a lot of fun! (8.5/10)
 * Graphics: They look nice- cartoony but realistic. There are some very intricate details in the mansion that recall various styles of furniture and equipment over the years. (9/10)
 * Sound: The music and the sound effects are generally pretty creepy, but in an odd way. They're good, that's for sure. (8.5/10)
 * Cast: Luigi has a more defined personality in this game, and E. Gadd is a wonderfully bizarre character and mentor. The different kinds of Portrait Ghosts you encounter make up the rest of the game's personalities, and there are some interesting ones, some scary ones and some that are just there. (8/10)
 * Lasting Appeal: The game is very short, but it will take a while to complete the first time you play it. The second time through you'll find the other secrets and you'll be able to finish it faster. After a couple of times, I realized that an experienced player can finish in 3-4 hours. This makes it the ideal game to play when it's late at night and you're in the mood for a creepy, odd game with Luigi. Because it's short, it's also easy to pick up and play again and again. (8/10)
 * Overall: Luigi's Mansion is a different experience, and a worthwhile one that has more thought put into it than a Mario game would. Play it. (8.2/10)

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time, Explorers of Darkness
I've never been a Pokemon fan. Plots are all the same, dialogue is generally poor and sometimes unintentionally hilarious, like all of the trainer's stupid catchphrases that they yell out before, during, and after the battle. Then, I learn of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon which does away with the trainers and lands the Pokemon in a world of their own. Much more inviting. So, at a friend's house I took a chance and started my own file in Pokemon Mystery Dungeon 2, the game so nice they named it twice. Or is it? Keep it mind I'm an RPG hater too. As you can imagine, this was a different experience for me.


 * Story: Actually, I was pretty surprised at the depth of the story. This one of things the Mystery Dungeon series has that the main series doesn't. You go through an intricate quiz to determine your type of Pokemon, and after many tries, I got a Pikachu- and a Cyndaquil to help me out. The story starts with an odd shipwreck of some sort... that's what it seems like anyways... and then you wake up on a beach and join an Explorer's Guild because you somehow turned into a Pokemon and really have no idea what to do with yourself. Throughout your general adventures you discover you have psychic powers and that a mysterious Grovyle is attempting to paralyze the planet by stealing the Time Gears. You're aided in your quest to stop him by the legendary explorer Dusknoir (spoiler) who is the most OBVIOUS villain I've ever seen (/spoiler) who ends up (another spoiler) betraying you, Grovyle turns out to be trying to save the world, but both of them fall through a vortex anyways, putting them out of the picture (/another spoiler). Then you go through the final dungeon where everything is at stake and of course you save the world, but then you're erased from existence. The final boss pities you so it brings you back into existence so you can live out the remainder of your life completing optional dungeons all over the world. Doesn't sound all that great, the story certainly isn't original... but it's a lot more than I expected at first sight. They have to make some of the situations obvious for younger players, which dumbs down a bit of the dialogue, but if you manage to overlook these little things then the story will turn out alright for you. Plenty of character development, too. (8/10)
 * Gameplay: Odd kind of board layout for the dungeons, every time you take a step your enemies will do, leading to inevitable confrontations. Whether or not the dungeon you go into is a difficult experience is completely random, because the floors shuffle around all the time. Some of it is quite fun, but other times you'll have to deal with the stupid sandstorm condition, hidden traps that damage you far too much (and will probably be triggered twice in a row, as your partner is an incompetent buffoon that's always one step behind- but certainly invaluable when he/she's not getting you killed.) Boss battles are always loaded with tension, and rightly so, because if you screw up you're going to lose half of all of your items and cash- or maybe all of it? I forget. Either way, you want to carefully store things away. Difficulty level is very good, actually. The problem is that there's really nothing to do besides the dungeons. Online support is cool too, so you can have a legendary Pokemon from another file help you out through the first dungeon if you want. Still, there are some places where outside help is off-limits. That's fine too. Sometimes, enemies you defeat will join your party if you let them, and it's usually interesting to see who comes along. I ended up adding a Seviper and a Wormadam to my team. (8/10)
 * Graphics: Not bad, but nothing special at all. For a DS game, it should be utilizing more of the system's capabilities. There are some interesting Pokemon sprites. (5/10)
 * Sound: Decent enough sound effects that perfectly match the graphics. The music is better, though. Some of it sounds cheesy, but other tracks sound downright epic! (7.5/10)
 * Cast: Aside from some issues with the simplicity of the dialogue, there are some memorable characters here that have distinct personalities- and certainly a lot more character development than I ever expected from the start. Some of it is very corny, especially the end, but never feels out of place. I have nothing against the characters here. (8.5/10)
 * Lasting Appeal: While there's never all that much diversity, there are many dungeons to tackle and people to help. I stopped playing after I graduated from the Guild, that was all I needed to do. Then, my file was promptly deleted so someone else could play. Completing it all will take a while. (7.5/10)
 * Overall: Much better than I expected! There were annoying parts, that's for sure, but there were parts that made playing it worthwhile. Some parts might seem naive, but this is the sort of game that should be played with an open mind. If you do, it'll be completely worth it. (7.4/10)

Rayman Raving Rabbids
I got this on the day I got my Wii. It looked really bizarre and I was quite doubtful about it at first- it looked nothing like any Rayman game I'd ever seen, looked like a bunch of random stuff. In a way I was right, but at the same time it was better than I expected and there was some time invested in this game. It had a few sequels, which I kind of wanted to play but decided it wasn't worth the effort.


 * Story: Not much here. Rayman was eating a picnic with some people that look suspiciously like the Tenda from EarthBound when all of the sudden they all get kidnapped by maniacal bunnies and Rayman is forced to complete great challenges in a colosseum for the entertainment of the Rabbids. However, there are some interesting things to note here. The Rabbids give Rayman plungers as a reward, and after a few hectic days, Rayman learns that he can use the plungers as a ladder to escape his cell. Little by little, the Rabbids start to like Rayman more when they see him advance through so many challenges. He goes from being a hated prisoner to a mega-celebrity. Of course, this is all rendered meaningless when he escapes, only to remember that he left his friends behind. The end credits show him trying to go back down the rabbit hole. (4/10)
 * Gameplay: The entire game consists of minigames, which are the challenges Rayman must complete. They're either hits or misses. Some turn out to be bogged up and tedious, like "Bunnies Don't Like Bats" but some are a lot of fun because the Rabbids are so bizarre and fun to interact with, sometimes with exceedingly violent results, like one where you bash the brains out of a Rabbid while he stands in place, then the bump on his head has to reach so high that it passes a certain mark. There are some "dance" sequences where you have to wave the remote and nunchuk in time to the music in a fashion not unlike Guitar Hero. It's great fun and is one of the highlights of the game. But the best parts are the "shooter" segments where you get a plunger gun and a grappling hand and go commando against an army of Rabbids and sometimes giant machines. The game's final boss, (spoiler) Pink, (/spoiler) is fought in this fashion as well. (7.5/10)
 * Graphics: Definitely lacking. There's no excuse. There are a couple of cool things though, like Rayman's bizarre alternate costumes and the Rabbids in general. But that's just the style of the characters, not the graphics of the game. (5/10)
 * Sound: The sound effects are fun and frantic, very cartoony and hysterical. Fits the crazy atmosphere of the game. In addition, the soundtrack is good as well, featuring a few well-know songs remixed, and a number of original scores, one in particular which plays when you fight a certain boss in a "shooter" segment which is completely awesome. Sound effects are probably the strongest point of this game. (8/10)
 * Cast: Rayman isn't that great, nor the Tenda rip-offs. The Rabbids are the most fun, as well as Sereguii, the prison guard that doesn't ever speak a single word but certainly has the best developed personality. However, I wouldn't call the Rabbids "endearing" or anything. After a while, they seem kind of sinister as well as very annoying, which was what I felt as I fought through the final challenge, "Bunnies Aren't Afraid of the Dark." (5/10)
 * Lasting Appeal: After you finish the story mode once, I see no reason to start a new file again. If anything, you want to keep and perfect that one file. Afterwards you can play all the minigames again in point mode. This is good because it gives you easy access to the best parts of the game, shooting and dancing. There are a list of challenges as well, and I only unlocked a couple. These are secret series of events. I don't know exactly what they entail, but they're probably not worth the effort... (4/10)
 * Overall: A definite rental. You can complete it was some considerable work in a day or two, and in that time play around a bit with the minigames that you enjoyed. If you suddenly feel the need for 100% completion, I guess you could do it in a few days, but I could never dream of trying, I just don't see the point. That's the strength and weakness of the game- there's absolutely no point. (5.6/10)

Super Smash Bros. Brawl
Well, I didn't start playing Melee until several years after its release, so I was eager to start off strong with the next installment and get on the Brawl bandwagon. I checked the incredibly awesome regular updates on the Smash Bros. Dojo, an incredibly ambitious and kind offering- was surprised by new characters like Pikmin + Olimar, and when I played the game I went ballistic on it. Since then, I've got myself like 7 Tabuu trophies on Intense Mode and like everyone else have played waaaaaayyy more matches than I could ever count. Now, I'm writing a review... all in all, what do I think of the game at this point?


 * Story: For the first time in Smash Bros. history, this game actually takes a stab at a story with the adventure mode, the Subspace Emissary. In short, the Ancient Minister goes around with Subspace Bombs tearing apart the world and sending it into Subspace for unknown reasons. Nintendo characters from all over the world get entangled in the threat and end up confronting him, where it is revealed that he's being controlled by Ganondorf- Bowser and Wario are his henchmen, as well as several different bosses. Ganondorf in turn seems to be working for Master Hand, the creator of the Smash Bros. world. But as it turns out, a mysterious entity called Tabuu gained control of Master Hand and used it to command the bad guys into making a Subspace world. In the end, the bad guys get defeated, and everyone who wasn't the same rank as Tabuu goes back to normal and they live happily ever after. It's definitely a generic story and was super-massively overhyped, but with more ambition. (4.5/10)
 * Gameplay: Smashing PERFECTION! Never mind if there's a mode you're not that into, because I guarantee you'll find lots to like here. There's an unbelievable amount of content and customization that makes this the pinnacle of smashing up to this point, and has certainly set a high bar for any kind of sequel, if there is one. I'll briefly say that a couple things are not as good as Melee, like Target Test, Classic Mode and especially Event Matches. Other than that, this game soars above and beyond. Of course, on top of everything else is multiplayer, and there are so many tributes to so many franchises that the whole thing is like one big party. (10/10)
 * Graphics: Also, the graphics are very well detailed- perhaps an explanation to the ever-so-slightly long load times, but worth it. A few things, no matter how good-looking, turn out very generic, like the whole "machine" areas in the Subspace Emissary. (9.5/10)
 * Sound: The most extensive soundtrack devoted specifically to games. The music of the party. And there are so many excellent sound effects that make attacks so satisfying. In addition, there's hidden voice acting for a few characters which is both amusing, well done and worthwhile. (10/10)
 * Cast: The personalities of some of the characters are a bit more fleshed-out than previous installments, as seen in the cutscenes of the Subspace Emissary. And this is an incredibly diverse roster of characters. It's not meant to be particularly deep though. (8/10)
 * Lasting Appeal: You'll probably get tired of it after a year or so, but even then the multiplayer is fun. (9/10)
 * Overall: After all is said and done, this is a must-have Wii game and one of the best on the system! ... But when it gets stale, the multiplayer is all that you really feel like going back to. (8.5/10)

Super Smash Bros. Melee
I never played the original Smash Bros. on the N64, but I was glad to get my hands on this game for free when it was given to me by some kids across the street. They haven't asked for it back for about three years now, so that's a good sign! Super Smash Bros. Brawl has been out and about for a long time now. By comparison, how does Melee fare?


 * Story: There isn't one. A bunch of Nintendo characters get together and fight. They're trophies, and in their world Master Hand brought them to life so they could battle. Not that great, but an excuse to get some action going. It's still better than Zelda II. (4/10)
 * Gameplay: Basically, you choose one of 25 characters (several must be unlocked) and fight some other characters. Sounds simple at first, but there are tons of complex strategies that make this game ideal for tournaments and international competitions. You use standard and special moves which are unique to each character, and you can use different items against your opponents during battle. Also, there are single-player modes which are fun as well, like Classic Mode where you make your way through battles, timed mazes and target tests to fight Master Hand, and Adventure Mode where you'll go through various locales from different Nintendo games to face off against Bowser. You'll also have a series of 51 events that put you in situations with various conditions and make you solve the problem by using as much brains as you do brawn. There are all kinds of secrets to unlock, including lots of collectible trophies to detail history. Multiplayer is king, though. Sometimes the items will greatly upset the balance of a fight, but you're welcome to turn them all off if you'd like. (9.5/10)
 * Graphics: Actually, the graphics aren't that great, even for the Gamecube. Especially after spending so much time with Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Other games like Pikmin and Luigi's Mansion came out around the same time and looked far superior. I guess the popularity of the game was enough to keep people from caring about this snag. (8/10)
 * Sound: A wealth of sound effects and classic battle themes play during fights that make it all the more absorbent. Some very nice songs in here, like the MOTHER ones. There are creepier songs too, like Brinstar Depths from Metroid. The Hyrule Temple theme is classic, and perhaps the best thing that came from Zelda II. (8.5/10)
 * Cast: Not that there's any character development whatsoever, seeing as there is no story, but there's quite a range of characters here! There are some really cool hidden ones like Dr. Mario, Roy of Fire Emblem fame, and Mewtwo. The final hidden character is the 2-D Mr. Game and Watch, even. (8/10)
 * Lasting Appeal: The multiplayer and tons of hidden features keep this one going for a long time, and you'll be enjoying every second! (10/10)
 * Overall: There's fun to be had here, for sure. But, it rather pales in comparison to the caliber of Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I honestly think that despite everything Melee has going for it, it is VERY overrated. The blueprints were laid in the original Smash Bros., this game added many features and a larger scale, and Brawl perfected it. (8/10)

The Legend of Zelda
The very first Zelda game- and the first game where you could save! Good thing too, because it's really hard! I never got past the second dungeon. But nevertheless, I've spent enough time with the game to give a basic overview, having explored virtually the entire overworld and several dungeons out of order. I played it on the Collector's Edition along with other hits such as Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask. How does the first game in the series measure up today?


 * Story: Ganon kidnaps Zelda, Link has to get the Triforce and beat him. Well, it's a start... and laid foundations for what would become major plot points. (3/10)
 * Gameplay: Quite fun, but far too difficult. You attack enemies with your sword, use a variety of equip items and travel the world searching for caves that hold pieces of the Triforce. For the first game in the series, you can definitely see how much the other games have played off of this formula. A lot of the time your shield won't do its job, and the sword isn't a very effective item for battling. In addition, how you make your way through the game is pretty much random. (7.5/10)
 * Graphics: Well, this is the first game in the series so I'm not going to be too harsh on it- looks fine for NES. (7.5/10)
 * Sound: Classic tunes- well, like... five of them, anyways. And I wouldn't say all of them are that classic, maybe one or two. Not much to say. In addition, most of the sound effects are very irritating/stupid/pitiful, like when you're on your last heart. I thought my head would explode. (4/10)
 * Cast: Virtually nobody. Well, there's an old man or something. (1/10)
 * Lasting Appeal: Actually, if you can get into it there's quite a lot of exploring to do, and like I said it's a good thing this game can save! (8/10)
 * Overall: For the time, this was a good game. It can't really compare with the other Zeldas at all, except for Zelda II which is one of the worst games ever. That's not meant as an insult- in fact, I'd say that it's a good thing people can access this via Virtual Console and the Collector's Edition. At least you'll see how it all began- and you'll have some fun along the way as well. Just don't expect anything mind-blowing. (5.2/10)

Zelda II
Well, here it is. Might as well get this one out of the way sooner rather than later. This is, without a doubt, the worst Zelda game ever made. I learned from firsthand experience on my Collector's Edition. To think that it gets away with stowing away with The Legend of Zelda, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, even a playable demo of The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker is blasphemy. You don't need analysis to see why Zelda II gets the hate it does, but this is what we do here.


 * Story: Some stupid story about Zelda falling asleep, and Link needing to wake her up with magic crystals. It's all lost somewhere in the Zelda II NES instruction booklet, and who even cares about this garbage anyways. (0/10)
 * Gameplay: You walk around the overworld and get into fights which you will lose. You go into towns where talking to a person takes about 10 minutes per sentence due to the deliberately slow load times for their useless text which never helps or is simply indecipherable. You go into caves, everything looks the same, you wander lost until a monster puts Link out of his misery. You go into temples, which are the same as caves except with a boss. It doesn't help that Link is a terrible fighter, has spells that don't work and can't jump- well, such a disgrace can't really be called "jumping", can it. (2/10)
 * Graphics: Probably some of the worst I've seen, even on an NES. Sure, there are lots of bright colors, but a lot of it looks like vomit, particularly the battles that take place in the "forest." Honestly, some of the graphics are so bad that they can bring dead people to tears. And why do half of the villagers look like Lord Farquaad from Shrek?! I don't know if that's how you spell his name, I really don't care. (1/10)
 * Sound: Well, here's a redeeming feature. The sound in this game is okay, but not the best Zelda soundtrack. We got a few memorable tunes out of this one. Sound effects sound no different than your average NES game, no real problem here, but the low quality does nothing to bolster this junk heap. (4/10)
 * Cast: There's Link, there's Dark Link and there's Lord Farquaad. (1/10)
 * Lasting Appeal: Why would ANYONE want to play this more than once, if at all? (0/10)
 * Overall: This game simply exists, and should be respectfully left alone. If you somehow find yourself with a copy in your possession though, you're allowed to use any desired method to dispose of it as soon as possible, preferably shredding it before doing anything else. (1.3/10)