Walkthrough:The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess/Diachronos/Part 2

Summary
A tender moment between Thrall and Ilia... Which is rudely interrupted by strange creatures riding giant boars who capture Ilia and Colin and knock Thrall out. Thrall goes after them, only to find himself imprisoned in a twisted version of Hyrule. A weird little creature named Midna busts him out, and offers to help; but she wants his help in exchange. Thrall meets someone important, saves a Spirit, and turns Faron Woods back to normal, then sets out to find something to help him in his quest.

And to think the day started so well...
Now that we've gotten to the other end of the hole, we get to watch another cutscene... yay for cutscenes... (okay, you might actually wanna see this one).

After watching the cutscenes, you wake up in a prison sell, with your leg chained to the floor. You can't really do anything right now, so just stand there until another cutscene starts. A weird little imp creature breaks the chain for you and tells you to get out of the cell. See the crates in the corner? Smash 'em, then dig down at the bottom of the bars to get out.

Prison break!
The imp jumps on your back and offers to help you escape, as long as you do as she says. Enter the next cell (you can't open doors as a wolf...) and target the chain hanging from the ceiling. Jump to it to open a path in the wall, then go through to the next section.

Okay, in this area we can actually ignore what the imp tells you; what she says is either not much help or something you can already figure out. Ignore the spirit in the corner as you emerge from the tunnel; instead, hang a right, then another right at the fork. You'll find little black creatures scurrying around down here; these are Twilit Vermin. One good snap of Thrall's wolf jaws is enough to kill them.

At the next fork, there's a bunch of spikes on the floor to the left. Dang, that's the way we need to go, too... Instead, make yet another right and grab the chain at the end of the hall. This lets water into the area, and now we can swim over the spikes! Do so, then move on to the next fork
 * WARNING: Thrall can't attack when he's swimming. If a Twilit Vermin is coming after you, get onto one of the ledges and pounce on it from there.

At this fork, turn left and move to the end of the hall. Grab the chain to drain the water, then turn around and head straight. The imp jumps off our back and floats through the bars; she says we'll have to "help ourself for a change". Oh yeah, like she's been so helpful since we got out of your cell... Anywho, go up to the wall she went through and look to the right; there's a hole in the wall. Crawl through it (use the Senses to find a couple dig spots if you want), then go up the ramp and out to meet the imp.

She mocks us a little, then we get to move on. There's a long spiral staircase we have to go up, so let's run up the stairs and jump the- and the stairs just fell out from under us. The imp gets irritated (oh, yeah, like we knew the stairs were gonna collapse!); go back up to where we jumped from and she says to target her and press A to get across. Do so and... whoa. Did we just jump that huge gap? YES WE DID. This imp's not so bad after all! Her attitude's gonna take some getting used to, though.

Continue up the staircase, using that awesome jumping skill when necessary, until you get to the top. There's a couple new foes up here: Twilit Keese. Kinda like regular Keese, but a little cooler-looking. Just treat them like flying Twilit Vermin and pounce when they're in range. Once they're dead, move over to the small pile of stones next to some crates. Use the special jump up the rocks until you reach an open door, then exit the tower.

Now we're outside. Keep moving forward, ignore the spirit that the imp points out if you want, and jump onto the wooden platform to the right (you can push the crate over if you want, but it's possible to jump onto the crate without moving it and jump to the edge of the platform). Keep moving, but stop to deal with the Twilit Kargarocs (the giant birds that make weird foghorn noises) when you reach them. Eventually, you reach a dead end...

Or is it? Imp-jump time! Jump along the pillars to the rooftop below you, then make for the window in the nearby tower. If you're quick, you can get there without being harassed by the Twilit Kargarocs. Go into the window, then go up the stairs (the crates by the door have Hearts if you need 'em) and into the room. Spin Attack the fireplace for a yellow Rupee, then move to the hooded figure by the window.

Yay for more cutscenes...

Oh, so that's what's going on...
Watch the cutscene to find out what's happening. You learn the imp's name (Midna), and that the hooded figure is actually Princess Zelda! Well, Rusl did say that, if you were lucky (although whetehr this could be considered "lucky" is up for debate...) you might get to meet Zelda while you were delivering... the... crap, the sword's still in Ordon... Oh well, not finishing a delivery is kinda the least of anyone's worries right now.

Once you're out fo the tower, Midna reminds you about Colin and Ilia being taken by those Bulblins. She says she'd be happy to help you, but you have to be her servant and do what she says in exchange. Well, it's not like we have much choice... She sends us to Ordon Spring. But we're still a wolf! Midna says she wants a "sword and shield that will suit her". Looks like we're heading back to Ordon Village.

Head towards the village, and deal with the Bulblins along the way. At your house, you're stopped by a squirrel who suggests you talk to the animals if you need any help. In the village, head towards the waterwheel. Listening to a few people around town reveals that Colin and Ilia aren't the only ones who were taken: the Bulblins took all the kids.

Sword and Shield for Midna
You hear sombody mention a shield, and someone else tells him not to talk so loudly. It's Mayor Bo and Jaggle. Inch towards them, stopping to listen every few steps. Once you're close enough, you hear Jaggle say that the shield is in his house, and Bo says that the sword you were supposed to deliver is at Rusl's house. Midna even points out an open window near the roof of Jaggle's house. Well, that's convenient. But we'll need a place where we can jump to the roof...

Go back across the bridge and... Hanch just spotted us. He calls us a monster and says to return his daughter (dude, I'm a freakin' WOLF! Have you never seen a wolf before?). What's he doing now? He's playing some Hawk Grass... and he sends the hawk at us! RUN!

(I know this is taking a while, but you can't really make a good walkthrough for this game quickly. Plus, I don't want to make one of those emotionless guides that just say "Go here. Do this. Collect that.", I wanna try to make something people will read for help AND enjoyment.)