User:MaloMart

About me
I wrote my own Zelda game! And then another one.Aren't I great?

I also wrote a list of cool bad guys! I am so amazing!

I have also started an operation to improve Zeldapedia. Its name: Operation: QuoteUnquote

Check out the questions I'd like answered.

And this thing... The Legend of the Postman

I am also incredibly self-conscious and often believe that everyone hates me, including everyone on this wiki.

My true name will remain a secret to everybody, but I have left a clue on this page.

Games I've Played
In order of when I played them.

1. Twilight Princess

2. The Wind Waker

3. Ocarina of Time

4. Majora's Mask

5. The Legend of Zelda

6. Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

7. The Minish Cap

8. A Link to the Past

9. Link's Awakening

Ranking
1. Twilight Princess

2. Majora's Mask

3. The Wind Waker

4. Ocarina of Time

5. Link's Awakening

6. The Minish Cap

7. A Link to the Past

8. The Legend of Zelda

9. Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

For reviews, look here.

Random Things About Zelda Games

 * When wearing the Stone Mask in Pirate's Fortress, the Gerudo Pirates follow you with their eyes, even though they supposedly can't see you.


 * Certain characters in Majora's Mask seem to have the ability to see beyond the current cycle and/or not be affected by the Song of Time. Examples: the Happy Mask Salesman, Mikau, Darmani, Kaepora Gaebora, the Banker, the Imprisoned Monkey, Kamaro and weirdest of all, the dog in South Clock Town.


 * Quill vanishes after saving you from Ganondorf.


 * Romani's train of thought as They attack: "Okay, this is the moment I've been training for all year. It's my time to save the cows! And now to sit in the barn and do nothing while relying on a stranger and my small dog to fight off the aliens."


 * I always feel guilty when I give the Letter to Kafei or the Letter to Mama to ???.


 * Kokiri are supposed to be sweet and innocent, right? Then why does Fado of Ocarina of Time outright laugh at the death of Grog and his transformation into an undead monster?


 * Nintendo seems to have no idea what an arachnid is. They labeled Queen Gohma as an arachnid, even though she only has three legs! They seemed to have learned their lesson by the time Twilight Princess rolled around, though.

1. Shoot it in the eye
 * There are really only a few boss types recycled throughout the series. They are:

2. Shoot it in the hands, then the eye

3. Throw a bomb in the mouth

4. Grab an important piece with the Hookshot/Clawshot

5. Wait until it traps itself, then strike

6. The boss that teleports and/or moves really quickly

7. Just hit it over and over again with the same weapon

8. Reflect its own attacks back at it

9. Break it into smaller forms, then eliminate those.


 * If you look at my questions below, you'll see that it irritates me when characters seemingly teleport (Beedle, Postman). But the absolute worst offender has to be Agitha. During the day, she slowly walks around Hyrule Field loking for bugs. She follows a set routine and always returns to town by nightfall. However, if you go to her castle, you'll find her there no matter what time it is. Maybe Agitha has a twin sister....


 * I consider the following to be "true" recurring characters: Link, Zelda, Ganondorf, Tingle, Vaati, Twinrova, the Postman, Impa, Syrup, Biggoron, the Carpenters, Malon, Talon and Dampe.


 * The Postman has been in as many canonical games as Tingle. Where's his spin-off series?


 * When I first played the Wind Temple in The Wind Waker, Makar killed an Armos Knight. Yes, the giant death robots. I was controlling Makar and accidentally got him too close to a pair of Armos Knights. They activated and attacked him, and I lost control. When I flew over to him with the Deku Leaf, the Knight that had hit Makar was gone, and the other had gone back to sleep. I assume that during the time it took me to fly over, Makar killed the giant stone monster and devoured its corpse.


 * I have performed a glitch in Twilight Princess that allows Link to shove Renado into the deep water behind the Spirit's Spring. Sure enough, the shaman sinks right down to the bottom of the pond, and continues walking around like nothing's happened. You can even talk to him while wearing the Zora Armor.


 * I found a typo in Twilight Princess. The Oocca in the City in the Sky shop refers to the race as the "Ooccaa."

Why Malo?
You may be wondering why I like Malo so much. Because he's awesome, that's why. He's a kid no older than ten who can manage a successful chain of general stores. He's one of the only characters who can actually do things, rather than just getting kids in green tunics and tights to do things for him. In the course of Twilight Princess, he opens a store, builds a bridge, transforms a snooty shoppe into a customers-first shop and gets his own face plastered all over Hyrule. Plus, he employs 2/5 of the Goron government, which means he could completely monopolize all trade from Death Mountain. That means he controls the entire bomb market, the hot spring water market and all the other Goron Merchants out there. I sincerely believe that if he applied himself, this kid could take over Hyrule and hold onto it for quite a bit longer than Ganondorf ever could. After all, Link couldn't kill a doe-eyed kid, could he?

My Timeline
Here's my theory. As we all know, it starts with Ocarina of Time. From then, it branches off into the Adult and Child Timelines. The next game in the Child Timeline is Majora's Mask, obviously, and then Twilight Princess. This is considered to be fact. After Twilight Princess comes the Oracle Series. Why? Because Twinrova is/are dead in the Adult Timeline, so these games cannot be placed there. Secondly, Ganondorf clearly dies in Twilight Princess, and he is resurrected in the Oracle games. These games start Ganon's time as a blue pig. After this comes the original Legend of Zelda, and then Adventure of Link, where Ganondorf is already dead at the beginning.

The Adult Timeline's next game is A Link to the Past. This should be obvious, as the game's intro tells the story of Ganondorf's imprisonment in the Sacred Realm. This also fits here because it explains how Ganondorf escaped the Sacred Realm and went on to cause the Great Flood. He didn't die at the end because Link wished on the Triforce for all the damage to be undone, an unforseen side effect of which would be Ganondorf's resurrection. The next game we know is Link's Awakening. I think it was during this adventure that Ganondorf returned in his "red wrath," and Link was not there to stop him because he was trapped in a whale's dreams. Next is Wind Waker, where Ganondorf dies for good. Dead. Done. No more Ganon. Then it goes on to Phantom Hourglass, the Minish Cap in the New Hyrule, and finally Four Swords.

The only game that doesn't fit this timeline is FSA. If we go by this timeline, Ganondorf is dead for good by the time Vaati shows up. I don't think he was reincarnated, because he lost the Triforce of Power in WW. I suppose it could be a different Ganon, but I don't really buy this. I think that the absolute most likely theory is that Nintendo thought they would make more money if they threw Ganon into the game, so they did.

This leads into my second, most likely theory. The only games that follow a specific timeline are ALttP, OoT, MM, WW, PH, TP and MC. These games all seem to fit easily into the timeline, while the others do not. I personally believe that these were probably the only games Nintendo intended to include in the timeline, and the other games were just filler. I especially don't think the first two games should be included in the timeline, because at that point Nintendo probably had no idea of the extensive timeline and different Links that would show up later on. Based on this theory, here's the timeline:

Child: OoT, MM, TP

Adult: OoT, ALttP, WW, PH, MC

Anyway, that's my theory. Feel free to debate it on my talk page.

Theories I Believe

 * Impaz is a Sheikah and the Hidden Village is Kakariko from Ocarina of Time.


 * Sera's calico cat is named Link. This is a theory i made up myself. She says at one point, "My little kitty Link came back to me." If she is addressing the human Link when she says this than she has really bad grammar. I think it is more likely that Nintendo is continuing the tradition in 3-D Zelda games of naming other things after Link. Sure, a cat isn't as cool as a Goron or a super pig, but I like it nontheless. Therefore, I will always refer to this cat as "Link the cat."


 * The Twili are not any race seen before in the series. They are a brand new race in TP.


 * The Poe Salesman is the Hylian Knight in the same building. They both love ghosts and chaos and they live in the same house. I just don't see that sweet little boy becoming so scary.


 * Nintendo likes to make us suffer. The simple existence of Tingle is proof of that, but if you want more evidence, look in my "Annoying Things" section.


 * The Lunar Children and the four dungeon bosses are one and the same, the children being their true form. Majora is also of the same race.


 * Deku Butler's Son = Deku Mask = weird little tree


 * You couldn't find Hyrule under the Great Sea just by going down in a submarine. If you did, you'd just find a ruined castle and some flooded buildings. The only way to reach the Hyrule of the Past is by completing the Tower of the Gods.


 * The Keaton Mask Soldier is the father of the Boy in the Graveyard.

Theories I don't Believe

 * The Gerudo became the Twili. This should be obvious. The Twili race is NOT ALL FEMALE! That should effectively rule out this theory.


 * Stallord is Volvagia. Stallord is roughly ten times bigger.


 * The one eyed man who sees the truth is Bongo Bongo. I just don't buy it and I think it's a little too obscure to be real.


 * Zelda changed her gender to become Sheik. Seriously? The only thing remotely like evidence for this is that Ruto called Sheik a man. Why would Zelda reveal her identity to Ruto? Ruto believes the same thing Link believes. Some people say that Sheik must be male because his grunts sound male. Yes, that's because Zelda's in disguise. She's not going to go around using her normal voice. A crazy theory in my opinion.


 * The Man from the Trading Post and the Man from the Curiosity Shop are the same person. Like Cremia and Romani, they're just two separate Terminan counterparts of the same Hyrulean.


 * Jabu-Jabu is Jabun. Jabu-Jabu was clearly just a dumb fish, while Jabun could speak and know enough not to go around eating random people.


 * Any theory connecting the Dark Interlopers to Majora's Mask/the Fierce Deity's Mask.


 * Stone Tower Temple was created to insult the goddesses. I think this is just a case of people overthinking things.


 * Most of the theories involving some random character with closed eyes being a Sheikah.


 * Link of Ocarina of Time must have married Malon because Link of Twilight Princess works on a ranch. I really don't want to go into all the details of this one. Just check the discussion page for Malon for the full story.


 * Zant is an Oocca. Worst. Theory. Ever.

Theories I'm not sure about

 * Kaepora Gaebora is Rauru. I can see the similarities, but I'm still not entirely convinced.


 * Zoras evolved into Rito. I can see the evidence for this, but I just can't imagine fish evolving into birds.


 * The Hero's Shade is the Hero of Time. Ehh, I really can't make up my mind on this one.

How I Intend to make the Legend of Zelda Movies
I plan to be a director/screenwriter for a career, and I greatly want to make movies of the Legend of Zelda series. With the series as it is now, this is how I would do it: I would only make movies of "The Big Three." I consider the Big Three to be OoT, WW, and TP. Why? Because these are 3-D and therefore some of the most popular games. I know Majora's Mask also fits into this category, but it does not fall under the main storyline of the series, and I don't want to make this series too long, so I would have it cut.

First would come Ocarina of Time, duh. It's the first chronologically, and it sets up all other movies. At the end, I would make some note about the split timeline so the next movies would make sense. Twilight Princess comes next, showing what happens in the Child Timeline. Then Wind Waker would be last. Why this way? Because Wind Waker is epic. I may like TP more as a game, but the storyline of WW is so final and climactic that I feel it has to come at the end. Besides, something would feel wrong about making a movie of a post-Hyrule world, and then going back to Hyrule for TP. Therefore, Wind Waker comes last.

If I feel these movies haven't made me quite rich enough, I might make Majora's Mask as a prequel to TP and sequel to OoT. Might.

A full description can be found here.

Overall
1. The "Warning: Your life energy is low!" sound. I get it, I get it already! I can see this without an alarm to tell me!

2. Every single target shooting mini-game.

Twilight Princess
1. Rollgoal

2. The wagon scene

3. Darkhammer

4. The Golden Bug Sidequest

5. Plumm

6. The Sacred Grove Guardian Statue's puzzle

7. FIGHTING FOUR DARKNUTS AT ONCE!

Majora's Mask
1. Boes

2. Gyorg

3. Takkuri

4. Beneath the Well

5. Wizrobes

6. The fact that once you lose to Majora once, there is no way to get back the hearts you lost without potions or fairies.

7. The seemingly arbitrary placement of items in boss chambers (for instance, they fill Gyorg's chamber with jars of arrows, but don't seem to even consider that you might require a few extra hearts)

8. Tingle

Wind Waker
1. The "stealth" part of the Forsaken Fortress

2. Floormasters grabbing the people you're trying to protect

3. The Earth Temple and pretty much every enemy inside it, especially Blue Bubbles

4. The controls for the Mirror Shield

5. That one submarine full of Bombchus

6a. The fact that you have to collect 144 figurines, your camera can hold three photos at a time, and you have to wait a full day for that stupid guy with his stupid hairpiece to carve just one figurine. WHY DO YOU HATE US, NINTENDO?

6b. While we're on the Nintendo Gallery topic, the fact that Kogoli, without warning, vanishes and deprives you of ever getting his picture again. I can see no logical reason for this other than that Nintendo hates us.

7. Tingle

Ocarina of Time
1. WALLLLLLMAAAAAAASTERRRRRRRRS!

2. The Water Temple, duh.

3. Dampe's maze.

4. Moblins.

5. Kaepora Gaebora.

6. Navi repeating something you already know/telling you something that doesn't apply because you're in the past.

The Original Legend of Zelda
1. Every single enemy.

2. Money-Making-Game.

Scary Things
1. ReDeads. I think it is a widely accepted fact that these things are terrifying. If I can, I always try to kill them from a distance.

2. Blue Bubbles. Even more than ReDeads, I dread an encounter with a swarm of Blue Bubbles.

3. Arbiter's Grounds. I'm probably alone in this, but I found everything in that temple scary.

4. The Ghost Ship. Creepy music, scary enemies, a freaky portrait. You do not want to do this part of the game at night.

5. The Twilight Realm. Even though it wasn't ever very difficult, I found the whole place spooky. It was probably a combination of the music, the weird orange lighting, and the fear of encountering a group of Shadow Beasts.

6. Wind Waker Stalfos. This is because they are the only enemies that seriously don't care if you attack them. They will continue to raise that mace of theirs and proceed to knock you halfway across the room.

7. Twilight Princess Darknuts. Note that I say Darknuts. One isn't scary. More than one, on the other hand, is nightmare-inducing.

8. The Cave of Ordeals. It's dark and filled with all sorts of bad things.

9. Dead Hand. Do I really need to explain?

10. Iron Knuckles. Unlike Darknuts, even one of these things gives me nightmares. That axe does more dmage than both King Bulblin's axe and Link the Pig.

Underrated Things
1. Twilight Princess. For reasons I don't get, this game has so many people who hate it. Why? The plot was good, the characters were great and the gameplay was smooth. Some say it wasn't original enough, but what about the whole wolf thing? Besides, since when does something need to be original to be fun? It doesn't have to be your favorite Zelda game, but you should all accept that it is a quality game.

2. Zant. Personally, I liked that he went insane at the end. That's what made him different from every other video game villain (except Majora). It added a bit more to his character. Some people don't get how he could change from sane to completely bonkers so suddenly, but I think it's pretty clear. Most people can act sane when everything is going their way, but when your plot to rule a nation is foiled and the princess you cursed and banished is coming for you with her dragon-slaying, Balrog-crushing, skeleton-slaying friend, you'd go crazy too.

3. Wind Waker bosses. I admit that Gohma and Kalle Demos were too easy, but I thought that every boss after that was pretty tricky. Puppet Ganon made me want to smash my controller, my game system, my TV and the Nintendo headquarters.

4. Navi. Sure she could get annoying, but for some people to wish her dead? I personally don't believe death should be wished on any Zelda character (I don't wish death on Tingle; I simply want him to be placed in a pot of boiling water for all eternity).

My Favorite Zelda soundbytes
1. The Postman's "Ya!" I love this one so much that I frequently use it when asked a question.

2. Fishman's "Kay!"

3. Salvatore's "Splish."

4. All of Yeto's grunts.

5. The Oocca's jabbering.

6. The Gorons' trademark groan.

7. Zant's screeches.

8. Beedle's "Bye!"

9. The OoT Great Fairy's laugh.

10. OoT Ganondorf's laugh.

11. The Skull Kid's crazy yell when calling the moon.

Polls
Which Link is the best? Legend of Zelda/Adventure of Link A Link to the Past/Link's Awakening Ocarina of Time/Majora's Mask Oracle of Ages/Seasons Wind Waker/Phantom Hourglass a.k.a Toon Link Minish Cap/Four Swords Twilight Princess The one from my game

Who is Link's best sidekick? Navi Tatl The King of Red Lions Ezlo Midna Ciela

What is the most annoying? Navi Tingle Falbi Ciela The Water Temple

Who is the best villain? Ganondorf Majora Aganhim Nightmare Veran Onox Twinrova Vaati Dark Link Zant King Bulblin Bellum

What is your favorite race? Anouki Deity Deku Fairy Fishman Garo Gerudo Goblin Goron Human Hylian Kokiri Korok Minish Monkey Oocca Rito Sheikah Skull Kid Stal Subrosian Tokay Wind Tribe Twili Yeti Yook Zora Zuna

What is your favorite playable race? (Which one is your favorite to play as?) Hylian Fairy Rabbit Deku Goron Zora Deity Subrosian Seagull Rito Korok Wolf Cucco

Which old video game quote is the best? I am Error. A winner is you!!! All your base are belong to us. Shine Get! Anything said by the Old Man in the original LoZ I wonder what's for dinner.

Is Malo a cool character? Yes No Omigod yes!!!!! No way Who?

Which is the best? Hookshot Longshot Clawshot Double Clawshots Grappling Hook What is the best mode of transportation? Epona King of Red Lions Warping Song Twilit Portal Kaepora Gaebora Bullbo The giant Kargaroc in Twilight Princess Goron rolling Bunny Hood running Normal running Snowboard Who would win in a race? Dampe Goron Elder (Majora's Mask) King Zora Which disembodied hand is the best? Wallmaster Floormaster Zant's Hand Dexihand ??? Which dragon is your favorite? Aquamentus Gleeok Volvagia Dark Dragon Valoo Stallord Argorok If you could have any one piece of the Triforce, which would it be? Triforce of Power Triforce of Wisdom Triforce of Courage Who was Hyrule's greatest king? Daphnes Daltus Gustaf Ganondorf Harkinian

Honorable Mentions

 * Shad
 * Ashei
 * Beedle
 * Rusl
 * Orca
 * Postman (Twilight Princess)
 * Ilia

Speed Challenges
This is where users compete for the best time in various game-based speed challenges. I will post several of these challenges below. Post your best time under these challenges. The current leader will be awarded the Postman Award. Feel free to make a userbox stating you've won this coveted award.



Hyrule Derby
Challenge 1: A full lap around Twilight Princess's Hyrule Field on horseback. Start at the Kakariko Gorge warp point, ride north to the Bridge of Eldin, cross it and enter the Lanayru Province, cross the Great Bridge of Hylia, cross the southern part of Hyrule field and end back at the Kakariko Gorge bridge. Rules: No warping and no getting off your horse. Current Record: 3:58
 * 4:30 Xykeb  Yvolix  Zraliv  22:00, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4:12 Jedimasterlink (talk) 22:56, September 16, 2009 (UTC) (About time someone else got around to doing these.)
 * 4:06 I have to defend my title, don't I?  Xykeb   Yvolix   Zraliv  23:33, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4:05 It's on, now. Jedimasterlink (talk) 04:58, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4:02  Xykeb   Yvolix   Zraliv  05:35, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4:00 Jedimasterlink (talk) 05:52, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3:58 You know it took me three tries to beat your record? This is getting serious now.  Xykeb   Yvolix   Zraliv  06:23, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

Great Sea Challenge
Challenge 2: Sail from the dock at Outset Island to Windfall Island. Rules: Make sure the King of Red Lions is right at the dock (this can be forced by going inside, then coming out), no warping. Current Record: 5:24
 * 5:50 I could have done it a bit faster, but I got hit by a Seahat near Cyclops Reef. Xykeb  Yvolix  Zraliv  22:30, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5:45 Jedimasterlink (talk) 22:56, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5:36  Xykeb   Yvolix   Zraliv  23:45, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5:29 Jedimasterlink (talk) 06:23, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5:24  Xykeb   Yvolix   Zraliv  06:36, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

Hyrule Marathon
Challenge 3: This is a bit more open-ended. Start at the Death Mountain Crater warp point and run to the start of the Haunted Wasteland. You can use any way to get there, as long as you run. Rules: No warping, no Epona. Current Record: 3:28
 * 3:47 I'm sure I could've done better, but whatever. Maybe I'll try it again later. Xykeb  Yvolix  Zraliv  22:44, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3:44 Jedimasterlink (talk) 05:37, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3:28  Xykeb   Yvolix   Zraliv  05:45, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

Snowpeak Challenge
Challenge 4: How fast can you beat the Yetis' snowboarding challenge? Current Record: 1:11
 * 1:15 Xykeb  Yvolix  Zraliv  22:00, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 1:14.68 Jedimasterlink (talk) 05:25, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 1:11  Xykeb   Yvolix   Zraliv  05:35, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

Zora's River Air Race
Challenge 5: Fly the giant Kargaroc up Zora's River as quick as you can. Rules: No warping. Current Record: 1:19
 * 1:19 Xykeb  Yvolix  Zraliv  22:00, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Terminan Triathlon
Challenge 6: Warp to Snowhead in Goron form. From there, roll to Mountain Village and then down to Termina Field. Switch to Hylian form, then put on the Bunny Hood and run to the Southern Swamp. Use your Deku form to hop to the Deku Palace and enter the Palace to finish the race.

Rapids Challenge
Challenge 7: Swim through the Waterfall Rapids without challenging the beavers to a race, so as to get rid of those pesky hoops.

Signatures
Now sign my page or this wiki will run red with blood.

Oni <font color="#7F007F">Dark <font color="#007A00">Link 20:59, 17 August 2009 (UTC) <- this is a signature

I spent at least an hour reading this page. Let me just say... hour well spent! Btw, this is the first page I've signed and I don't know how to make a talk bubble thingie like everyone else has :( Turtleman579  00:45, October 28, 2009 (UTC)

Userboxes